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Below, you will find the whole series. So far. Please enjoy!
open/close all folders General Series 1 Series 2 - The "Master of the Universe" segment from Episode 8. It was mainly villains (with the exception of
the Sixth Doctor), and it went alright... up until it was the Daleks'' turn to drive around the test track. Upon examining it and seeing only humanoids could operate it... well, EXTERMINATE. Only a couple had left the area and
were spared.
- Episode 3: Jeremy throws a member of the audience out of the studio for calling the Vauxhall VX-220 a bad car.
- Episode 1: Hammond yells "I AM A DRIVING GOD!" while driving a Bowler Wildcat. Cut to Jeremy's and Richard's comments:
Jeremy: "I am a driving God". When you take a dog for a walk, are you "I AM A DOG WALKING GOD!"? Richard: It was a big moment! It's like being in a cartoon in that thing, and yes-
Jeremy: You got carried away. Richard: I got- I got very carried away. I'm not a driving God; it was a mistake to make that claim. - James summing up the other presenters:
James: I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm going to have to stop you there. I hate to interrupt, but this is quite honestly the biggest load of limp-wristed twaddle I've ever heard in all my five weeks in television. These two - these two are not men, OK? This one,
Richard Hammond, every morning sticks his head in a bucket of hair product, right? He's got a dog, but it's a poodle! And I don't know what you're laughing about, Clarkson, because you won't drink brown beer and this is the man who says, 'flatulence? Oh, it's not funny!' when clearly it is! Right. I am actually the only proper bloke on this programme, OK? I live in a tumbledown house full of old motorbikes. And I think a bloke can drive a convertible, but... it has to be the right one.
- Richard Hammond's explanation of oversteer and understeer in Episode 5:
Richard: To Clarkson Thank you Jeremy. Now this is really quite simple, K? Understeer works like this. You drive down the road. You turn the wheel, but the car goes straight on, crashes into a tree, and you die. Oversteer works like this. You drive down the same
bit of road. You turn the wheel, but the back of the car comes around like this and you go off the road, crash into a tree, and you die. Now oversteer is best because you don't see the tree that kills you.
Series
3 - During a Cool Wall segment, Jeremy tries to explain to 2 rather attractive girls in the audience why the rollbar (or, as they put it, scaffolding) renders the car into "Seriously Uncool" territory. The moment one of them tells him that a car like that would get him a 2nd date with her, however? It goes right into the "Sub-Zero" category. (Jeremy and Richard can be seen having
a bit of a crisis afterwards as well.)
- During the Monaro test in the 6th episode of the 3rd season, Clarkson turns the traction control on. Promptly the car begins to insult him in Australian slang, calling him a poofter and saying that England got lucky when they won the rugby world cup.
Series 4 - When Richard Hammond is hypnotized into forgetting how to drive a car, and then thinking a small pedal car is a brand new car he recently bought.
- The very first "cheap cars challenge" in Series 4. The final challenge is to crash the car into a brick wall at 30 mph, which leads to two
Crowning Moments: first James May appears to have died, and Clarkson casually turns to the camera with a spiel about "if you want a job on Top Gear, write to..."; then, Clarkson's Volvo's speedometer is broken, so he guesses and actually hits the wall at 40 mph...whereupon the Volvo demolishes the wall and, unlike the other two cars, is still going afterwards.
- And the challenge finishes with Clarkson dozens of points behind and apparently out of the race...but he wins due to economy,
because his Volvo cost one pound.
- Series 4, Episode 6: Hammond harvests methane from cow manure to run a Rover - which then loses a drag race to a petrol Rover and a "human poo" methane Rover. After which James May gets out a calculator and starts calculating to see if it'll really save money as Richard tries to convince him it
was a just a joke.
- From Episode 7, Jeremy finds that the voice recognition software for the phone in the Mercedes C-class is as uncooperative as it was in the S-class in Series 1.
Clarkson: Dial - number. Computer: Dialling. Clarkson [bewildered]: ... I
haven't told you what to dial yet! Let's try again. Dial - number. Computer: The number, please. Clarkson: Oh-one-seven-eight-five... Computer: Zero. Seven. Eight. Five. Clarkson: No, you've missed the one. Computer: Pardon? Clarkson: You've missed the one. Computer: The number has been deleted. Clarkson [to
camera]: See what I mean? Computer: Two. Zero. Two. Clarkson [utterly confounded]: ... where did that come from?! Computer: Pardon?
Series 5 - Episode 4. Hammond having 'to go' into a 'wee bag' in the backseat of a Smart Forfour in a challenge where May and Hammond had to spend 24 hours in the car without ever getting out.
- Also, on
episode 4, Hammond and May play conkers, with caravans.
Hammond: James, we are grown men... May: Yes, I know... Hammond: ...but we're playing conkers with caravans. May: That's okay. It's better than working at a bank. - And when "heath and safety" find out about the game and "step in with some precautions", leading to this comment as Hammond and May put on some safety goggles:
May:
There we go, now I feel perfectly happy about being hit in the face with a caravan. - Episode 6. The cheap Porsche challenge. James' car boot at first didn't open, then had to be taped shut; Clarkson's car broke down about seven times on the way to Brighton, haemorrhaged steam, smoke, water and petrol, and arrived there on the back of a tow lorry...
Clarkson: Beneath this rather faded, ruined exterior beats a heart of pure arthritis. ** Also, Clarkson put his
"lonely hearts" ad for that part of the challenge in a "men seeking men" column. - From the Ariel Atom test in Episode 9: "My epiglottis is full of bees!" Now Wiktionary's use in a sentence for epiglottis.
Series 6 - Series 6, Episode 4: The stunt at the
beginning with Richard having a stuntman jump a stretch limo over a wedding scene... and failing.
Hammond: (As the limo is approaching the ramp) Will the bride make it? It's either leave now or forever be smashed to pieces! - James May's advertisement for a used BMW, written purely in classified-car-ad abbreviations.
Clarkson: ...The essence of it is that, from now on, small car ads are going to be impossible. We're not going to
know what on earth they're written about. May: I've written one, for a BMW. "For sale, BMW 528. 19k, VGC, TNT, FSH, PAS, AAC, OBC, ICE, ABS, EBD, PDC, DTC, DSC, £15,000."note [general laughter.] Hammond: Nice. May: "ONO." note - When Clarkson interviewed
Christopher Eccleston, they got into a brief argument about who was more Northern:
Eccleston: Well, you don't really count, Jeremy. You're from Yorkshire. You're actually part sheep. - During
the Iceland episode: Clarkson referring to Ronald Reagan and Mikhail Gorbachev as "Reaganchev" and "Gorben" respectively.
- In Episode 1, Jeremy pits a Range Rover against a tank. During the challenge, he starts leading the tank around a bush (complete with waltzing music), prompting this line from one of the crew.
Tank Crewman: He's turning in circles, the little
*bleep* ! - Jeremy Clarkson was able to outsmart the tank's crew, but not for long.
Series 7 - The series sees the beginning of the Running Gag
that Richard Hammond has had his teeth whitened. To which accusation Richard always replies, "I have NOT had my teeth done!"
- The Budget Supercars challenge is full of memorable laughs. Hammond drives up in a yellow Ferrari 308 - a model originally sold as a Dino. Clarkson pulls up in a beautiful red Maserati Merak with headlights that turn on but don't lift up. And then May shows up late...with an AA truck carrying his black Lamborghini Urraco. Hammond and Clarkson proceed to take the
piss out of him.
Clarkson: James, we said a mid-engine Italian supercar, not a truck. May: (grumpily slamming the truck door) Is that the best you two can come up with? Clarkson: Yes, it is. - May attempts to defend himself. It doesn't go well.
Clarkson: Let's cut to the chase - it's on a lorry. May: It's an electrical problem, the Italians - Clarkson:
(riotous laughter) May: - invented electricity, as we know... - Clarkson spends the whole series pronouncing Hammond's car "not a Ferrari" while Hammond insists that it is ... and then Clarkson combines it with Hammond's long-term Berserk Button about getting his teeth whitened:
Hammond: ...and so
far we've learnt that James's Lamborghini is rubbish, Jeremy's Maserati is slow, and my Ferrari is- Clarkson: -isn't a Ferrari. Hammond: It is! Clarkson: It is not a Ferrari; Teeth, be quiet! Hammond:
It- I- It is a- Clarkson: Let's get back to the action! - The first budget supercar challenge
is simply to drive from one town to another without using the highway. Hammond repeatedly notices something wrong with his own 308, such as his speedometer being "a little optimistic", having told him he was driving 50 when he was stuck behind a truck, or his entire car body frame being "just made of rust". However, voiceover Hammond always chimes in "Still, could be worse" before the program cuts to James's very broken Lambo having broken down in the middle of the road once again.
-
After all of Clarkson's teasing of Hammond for not buying "a real Ferrari", his look at the car's maintenance history reveals that his own Maserati Merak SS isn't actually an SS - it just had an SS badge added to it at some point.
- In the same episode, you have a Crosses the Line Twice example in
Jeremy suggesting ideas for a "Quintessentially German" carnote , with plenty of morbid references to go round:
Clarkson:
We should do a car that's quintessentially German. Hammond: What, just replace the spoons with little sausages? - In the episode where Clarkson in the Bugatti Veyron races May and Hammond in a private plane (piloted by May) when Clarkson refers to his opponents as "Captain Captain Slow and his Hammond hand-luggage". Or as
Ginger and Algy or as Maverick and Iceman.
- In Series 7, Episode 3, Clarkson announced to the audience that Top Gear has won an Emmy Award for Best Non-Scripted Entertainment Show Not Made in America. Then Hammond asks Clarkson
why he didn't go along to the ceremony to pick it up in person.
Clarkson: Well, 'cause I was writing the script for this week's show. - In Series 7, Episode 5, Hammond and May reach the end of the race between their Cessna 182 plane and Clarkson's Bugatti Veyron, and enter the restaurant serving as their meeting place. They initially think that they've won... until they find Clarkson tucked in the far back, behind a wall. May's reaction is priceless.
May:
YOU UNBEARABLE MAN! I can't stand it! - In Episode 6, Hammond races a Mazda MX5 against a Greyhound around a dog track. Which is...kind of funny. But what was really funny was Hammond and Clarkson afterward careening off on a rambling tangent about how animal anatomy is similar to transmission/engine layout, in that
some animals are front-wheel/rear-wheel drive which can cause them to over- or under-steer when they take a corner, how elephants are four-wheel drive, and how cats can drift. And this somehow relates back to why you should buy a Mazda MX5.
Series 8 - The White Van Challenges are hilarious as a whole, but the climax was when it was Hammond's turn to take his itty bitty Suzuki Supercarry van around the track (in typical Top
Gear fashion, of course). Hammond was just so full of confidence that cornering fast in a vehicle with a narrow wheelbase and high center of gravity would be no trouble at all. You can, perhaps, see where this is going...
- Don't forget Richard's last words - "I reckon I'll give it a bit of the old Scandinavian flick". Immediately followed, of course,
by a bit of the old Scandinavian flip as he puts it right on its side.
Hammond: (climbing out of the wreckage) I may have overcooked that a bit. - On the drag race, after he won, Hammond got a little overexcited over his victory. His celebration? Screaming "WANKERS!", which promptly got silenced out on TV.
- On the tailgating challenge, James's van was so slow that he ended up getting a score of minus 4,000,000 as a
result.
- While they were rounding up the scores, Richard is disappointed at getting one point for the police chase challenge.
Hammond: One? Clarkson: Your van rolled over! Hammond: I could have been killed! May: So? You'd have still lost.
- May races a pair of free runners through Liverpool. He thinks he's won, is giving his victory speech and then he looks up at the clock tower... to see the
free-runners have climbed almost to the very top of it.
May: Oh for Pete's sake! - The caravan holiday. Then they accidentally set the caravan on fire. If you don't laugh at their misfortunes, you've clearly been dead for some time.
Clarkson:
It's not a pan fire anymore, it's a van fire. - While the pan fire is starting to consume the caravan, Hammond escapes while proclaiming that he saved the potatoes Clarkson was trying to cook when the fire began. Then Jeremy pulls out (presumably James') burning dressing gown, and Hammond finally rescues a giant inflatable crocodile pool toy.
- That one segment after the train was heard in the distance; May calls the sound "romantic." Note that he is also sharing a bed
with Hammond at the time... and is also lying on it in a "draw me like one of your French girls" pose, with a big smile on his face. Hammond is not amused.
- The service station schtick,
with May crashing the caravan into a bollard, and making a pig's ear out of getting it off as several amused motorists look on.
- No reasonable caravan driver would get confronted and cautioned by the Dorset police while lost looking for their campsite.
- Clarkson tries to connect the gas bottle, and
'stabs himself seven times'.
- The boys walk into a local pub. A few seconds later, they walk straight back out again as Jeremy's voiceover says "Yyyyep...", implying that they were not allowed to bring Top Gear Dog in.
- "And then [Hammond] discovered Jeremy's secret weapon. Literally!"
Hammond: What the-?! (pulls the aforementioned rifle out of an overhead compartment) Clarkson: Ah, yes. I brought that. Hammond: That's an AK-47. Clarkson: I know, I thought I might need it. Hammond: Why? Clarkson: A weekend, in... a box, with James May, and I thought "What am I gonna
need?". - Series 8 Episode 1, where they introduce the new Reasonably Priced Car by holding a (comically small) garden party for several stars to turn up and record lap times. The only problem is, the first one is James Hewitt and neither Clarkson nor Hammond know who he is - they end up putting him on the board as "Well-Spoken Man".
- Jimmy Carr.
He is Drives Like Crazy incarnate and "O Fortuna" is playing whenever he's shown on camera.
- The whole of the amphibious cars challenge is pure comedy gold, but of note is the point when Jeremy needed to remove a component from the front of his car to make way for a hull. Unfortunately, the car he chose was a
Toyota Hilux. Cue Jeremy hitting the front of the car repeatedly with a sledgehammer before trying to cut through the bar. Hilarity, of course, ensued.
- Later, while trying to drive across
a reservoir, Richard broke the propulsion system on his "Damper Van". Of course, it began to sink, prompting this exchange when Jeremy pulled up alongside:
Clarkson: Hammond! How much? Hammond: For what? Clarkson: A lift. Hammond: I'll give you a million quid, or this bucket!
Clarkson: What do we think, viewers? - Then when Hammond climbed aboard the "Toybota" and began bailing the water out of it, we got this:
Hammond: I've come up with a problem. Clarkson: What? [Hammond holds up aforementioned bucket, which has several holes in it] Clarkson: You-! Have- You owe me a million pounds! - When Jeremy and Richard reach the other side of the reservoir, Jeremy makes an epic mess of turning the Toybota. Then James arrives.
May: Is that your car? Clarkson: Yes. May: It's the wrong way up. Clarkson: Don't give me technicalities. - Finally, the kicker: the revelation that the challenge broke Jeremy's
Hilux.
- In episode 1 the boys attempt to make a mini-van/people carrier with a convertible roof. Highlights include:
- As the last segment in Episode 2, they attempt to host a local radio show. Suffice it to say, it doesn't go well,
with Jeremy reporting the travel news by bossing it around and James annoying the sports reporter. The immense backlash from listeners eventually forces them to bail out early.
- A couple of YouTube users have actually found and uploaded the full radio program from this episode; while the actual show went much better than the TV depiction made it out to, everything seen in the TV segment actually did happen, right down to Richard being in the bathroom after a song ends and the very cross
Mrs. Smith calling in just to complain that the show is rubbish. The actual program includes such highlights as Jeremy arguing with a Liberal Democrat MP about carbon emissions, the boys' riotous laughter at hearing Richard's poorly made jingles for the first time, and James confidently (and grumpily) giving the news headlines after
he's left alone in the booth.
- In Episode 4, Jeremy subjects a Mercedes to the "Quaint My Ride" treatment, re-decorating the interior to look like a stereotypical English cottage (similar to his own house), complete with a miniature wingback chair as the back seat. As he is showing off his creation to the studio audience, Richard and James make their way to the front to offer their own take...
Richard: ... yes, well, to find out if his creation
worked, we thought we'd take it out for a little test drive. [James has a put-upon "You can see where this is going, can't you?" expression] - For the test drive, on a typically drizzly English afternoon, Richard takes the driver's seat. The second he hits the accelerator, he and James are launched backwards, as the seats aren't attached to the floor. James has to move to the wingback chair to hold Richard in place in the driver's seat.
James:
[recovering from the surprise of being thrown backwards] Yes, that's a design flaw... - By putting in a concrete floor as a base for wooden floorboards and flagstones, Jeremy has added a lot of weight to the car, so Richard and James decide to see how long it takes to go from 0 to 60. The answer: 35.4 seconds, more than three times as long as the unmodified version. Highlights include Richard's bored look as the car takes nearly 20 seconds just to get to 43 mph, the
chimney Jeremy installed over the fireplace where the boot used to be breaking off from the gravitational force, and the even scarier journey from 60 back to 0.
James: This is the fastest Anne Hathaway's cottage has ever went! - A survey of the car's electrical system reveals that
not only do the mock Tudor lattices Jeremy added to the windows prevent them from opening properly, but the concrete floor has severed the wire for the brake lights, meaning the car would fail its MOT for that reason alone.
- They decide to finish by "turning on the heater" (lighting the fireplace, which fills the whole car with smoke) and doing a lap of the test track. Each time they go round a bend, they are thrown against the side of the car; inevitably, Hammerhead proves the biggest
challenge, as Richard and his seat are launched backwards and across the car, cutting his scalp and leaving him seeing double.
[as Richard brakes at the end of the lap, we hear the sound of both presenters and assorted odds and ends crashing against the front of the car] Richard: D'you know what? This is rubbish. James: Terrible. - While going around Hammerhead, Richard slides around.
James:
Regain control of the cottage! - True to form, Jeremy rebuffs his co-presenters' critiques:
Jeremy: This is the safest car in the world. Richard: [points to his scalp] I've got a scar! James: I've got bruised ribs and a very badly barked shin. Jeremy: Listen! You see these endless crash test footage of cars being thumped into concrete blocks and the concrete blocks are never
damaged. This is a concrete block! James: I would very happily drive this into a concrete block. Turning around on some corners was really dangerous! Richard: And another thing! Why did you polish the wooden floor? I was all whoa... [imitates sliding around uncontrollably] Jeremy: Look! The brilliance of this car is that you're never going fast enough to properly hurt yourself! Richard:
[unconvinced] You're never going fast enough to get where you're going! James: Yeah, 0 to 60 in, what was it, 45 seconds!? Jeremy: How safe is that? Richard: Have you ever been in a dining room going 60 miles an hour?! James: Do you want me to show what it feels like to be hit in the back of the head with a wingback chair? Jeremy: Look, the problem is taste, okay? [to
Richard] If we built a car to look like the inside of your house, it'd have a horse in it. [to James] And you, your house is just filled with pictures of the Queen!
- The kit car race, in which Clarkson, Hammond and May attempt to build a Caterham Seven kit car from scratch at the Knockhill Racing Circuit up in Fife, Scotland, before the Stig could reach the circuit from his start point at the Caterham factory in Surrey.
- James being his usual self,
listing off the parts on the instruction manual, leading to:
Clarkson: JAMES, DOES IT NEED A WASHER, YES OR NO?? - Jeremy despairing over building a kit car.
Hammond: Think of the fun of assembling.... Clarkson: It's not fun to do this! Your wife leaves you, she's in bed with the milkman and and you're, "Oh, where's my front suspension unit"? - And of course, the moment in which Jeremy "puts down his hammer and
picks up a spanner", which leads to him putting a car seat the wrong way round.
- Bored bored bored bored bored....
Series 9 - Hammond's return to the show after his life-threatening accident: Awesome. Getting a bearhug from Clarkson on
stage: Heartwarming. Negotiating a jetway flanked by showgirls to the tune of "Upside Down": Priceless.
- Stolen directly from the quotes page, from Episode 1, after viewing the footage shot of Hammond's successful runs in the Vampire dragster:
Hammond: We weren't trying to set records, I just wanted to go really, really fast.
Clarkson: So you did 314 [mph]? Hammond: Yeah. Clarkson: And you wanted to know what it was like to go really fast? Hammond: Yeah. Clarkson: So you'd found out. Why didn't you just get into your car and go home? [Hammond looks sheepish.] Hammond: I don't know really. The thing is, that run that you just saw, that was at 5 o'clock, and we had the runway until
5:30, and... [general laughter.] - The scene in the tractor episode where Richard Hammond is trying to round up a field of sheep.
Hammond: *After Kristin proceeds to inadvertently take
apart all of Jeremy's cool car choices* Four years of your cool wall, destroyed! *audience bursts in laughter* - In Episode 4, Clarkson and Hammond get into another round of their long-standing disagreement about the Porsche 911 (Hammond loves the 911, while Clarkson, despite having just completed a glowing review of the 911 Turbo, doesn't like them as a matter of principle). May cuts them both off, tells them to take their argument to the pub, and tries to segue
into the news, only to be derailed by the others continuing to bicker about the 911. May snaps at them to shut up, announces the news, and promptly drops into a Face Palm when he sees that the first topic that week is ... the Porsche 911.
- May introducing a news item about why police officers in North Yorkshire say they can't enforce a booster seat law throws first
him, then everyone, into hysterics.
Clarkson: (laughing) I can't wait for this now. The legal...? May: Because they do not have the legal right to...m-measure children! - The expressions of Richard Hammond and James May during the successful launch of a Reliant Robin they had turned into a Space
Shuttle... followed shortly by their expressions when the failure of an explosive bolt led to the creation of a large crater in the English countryside.
May: That's why— Hammond: How are you gonna use it again?! - Everything about the series nine episode where they go to Scotland, play golf (and get thrown off the course), and try to convince
some modern art critics why their cars should be considered works of art.
- James calls Richard's Mazda "chintzy" and looks like a golfer's car, so Richard gets his golf bag and dumps all of his clubs out.
May: Now that's just childish! And doesn't solve the argument! - At the Gallery of Modern Art in Edinburgh:
Clarkson: Richard, you went to art college, you should be good at this! Hammond: If you've ever been to art
college, you would know that what you do there is drink and pursue women!
- There's a very good reason why you shouldn't put a motorcycle on the Cool Wall.
- The limousine challenge has several highlights.
- May's unconventional limo consists of the fronts of two cars - a 1994 Saab 9000 and a 1996 Alfa Romeo 164 - welded together.
During a challenge to see how well the limos could be used to make a getaway in case of assassination attempts, May attempts to move from one end of the car to the other to avoid having to do a brake-turn and gets shot in the nads by the other two with paintballs for his trouble.
- Chris Moyles being forced to sit in the front of Jeremy's limo because it
breaks in half on the way to the BRIT Awards. Even funnier is that because the limo no longer has back wheels, it throws up sparks everywhere it goes!
- May gets lost on the way to Earl's Court for the BRIT Awards and causes his passenger, Lemar, to go off on an epic tirade. It's unclear just how staged the whole thing is, and James looks visibly
uncomfortable, which just makes it funnier.
May: Strictly speaking, it's left, but I think if we go right, I can go round the back... Lemar: What d'you mean, "right"? Right? Why? You've just said go left, right? So why don't we just follow what most people do? May: Because I think if we go right- Lemar: Are you doing this intentionally, now? This is just stupid. Are you a jerk? [May cuts in with "No..."]
Have you come to mess up my day? You've picked me up, you've driven me around and round in circles in London, we've been past Harrods eleven hundred times now! Left, you're intending to go right! I'm not taking this any more! Open this damn door, for crying out loud! I've had it! FORGET IT! [he walks
away in a huff] May: [Stunned Silence]
Series 10 - The introduction to their search for the greatest driving road in the world, in which Clarkson systematically insults just about every region of the world while Hammond increasingly frantically
attempts to stop him.
Clarkson: Now it can't be there 'cause they're all doing five, can't be
there 'cause they're all on drugs, that's just full of ox, Al Gore says
that's gone so it's not likely to be down there, that's just full of spiders... Hammond: (warningly) Jeremy... Clarkson: (continuing) -signs
here are full of gibberish, they're all communists, can't go there 'cause the Americans
will shoot you— Hammond: (abruptly) Thank you, Jeremy! - And, of course, the introduction to the review of the Lamborghini Reventon - a perfect Delayed
Reaction from Richard Hammond.
- And don't miss the lead-in: May presenting alternate uses for tampons, Hamster getting Squicked out, and illegal use of kryptonite by Jeremy Clarkson.
-
Crossing the English Channel. More specifically, trying to get out of the harbor into the English Channel.
Hammond: I can just see sky, sea, sky, [gets pitched violently forwards] SEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAA!!! - During the race across London: Jeremy Clarkson calls the Stig to check on his progress. When it rings, Stig stares at his ringing phone like it's a bomb about to go off. The fact his ringtone is the
Coronation Street theme makes it doubly funny. The episode also "reveals" that The Stig sees every vehicle as a car, and is confused by most mundane actions such as reading the newspaper.
- Stig gets another laugh when he figures out how to read the paper, only to throw it away in disgust when he stumbles upon an article praising F1 driver
Lewis Hamilton.
- The Stig takes public transportation, complete with odd looks from fellow passengers.
- From the same episode, Hammond riding a bicycle. Most of his shots consist of him cursing and yelling at the other drivers, yet he still manages to win. And when we see Clarkson pull up to the airport in a boat on the Thames, dock it, rush inside (assuming he's won)...only to find Hammond sitting there waiting for him.
- Then there's the in-studio coda to the
race. How does the world's top-rated motoring show reconcile itself to the car coming in stone dead last? Simple: Blatant Lies.
Hammond: If I remember rightly, when I got there, James, you were already there and had been for ages. Clarkson: He was! And do you know something else as well? I distinctly remember my boat blew up and
I was killed! May: I'm sure I remember cruising straight past Hammond with his head stuck in some railings. Clarkson: And do you know what? London doesn't actually have a river, so I couldn't have used a boat!
- The motorhome race. In which Richard races a motorhome
against a whole wide variety of motorhomes, being driven by "touring car stars" and ("we've got desperate") James.
- As part of the "rules" of motorhome racing, the motorhome must be prepared for the race "before sundown", leaving the choice of stripping out and enduring a bad night's sleep or leaving the luxuries on board to face with the added weight for the race. With the drivers opting for the "strip out and have a bad night" option, the scene cuts to the only person who didn't:
James:
[As he cooks a pie] Gravy juice, Pan, Warm. Peas, Carrots, Add. - Supposedly, motorhome racing has a "no contact" restriction. But as Richard notes, the other racers were touring car drivers. And hence, carnage ensures.
- In the midst of it, after getting alongside another racer, James May is battering the other racer's vehicle with a frying
pan!
- Absolutely everything in the challenge where they had to prove that not everything British Leyland made was crap. "Still, I'd only lost one thing." note
- James Blunt's good-humoured appearance:
Blunt: I own a motorbike after that. Clarkson: I didn't know you were homosexual! Blunt: Most of my songs are about you. -
David Tennant's lap around the studio track, which basically consisted of him repeatedly feeling for third gear. He left it all over the track.
- Also from Tennant's lap:
Tennant: SPEED UP!
- Pipe smoking
fail!. "Thaff noth gong hwell."
- Simon Cowell burns Jeremy Clarkson on why the latter can't host The
X Factor.
- In the news segment in Episode 6, the conversation leads to the suggestion that all animals be removed from the countryside and put into the cities, followed by a discussion about the price of bull sperm. It really has to be seen to be believed.
- The BMW car converted for racing
in Silverstone was decorated with the fake sponsors "Larsen's Biscuits" and "Penistone Oils"; when the doors were opened these respectively displayed "Arse Biscuit" and "Penis". On top of this, James May has the LGBT flag next to his name instead of the British flag.
- The Cockometer.
-
Their discussion of how a Bugatti Veyron should be delivered.
Hammond: Imagine, if you will, that you've bought a Bugatti Veyron. It's a big investment, you'd be very excited about the day it was going to going to be arrived, so you'd imagine such a thing would be delivered, you know, like on a golden carriage on a
bed of swan's feathers, it's a special moment. Clarkson: I'd want mine borne aloft by 16 greased, naked eunuchs. That's what I'd want. - In Episode 10, Hammond goes to an airfield "near Swindon", to see if the G-Wiz would be better
if it were a remote controlled car. During one of his tests, he does "a simple drag race" against "an everyday normal car" (which turns out to be a Ford Mustang), and the distance between it and the standard G-Wiz is quite
hilarious.
- Then after Hammond mods the G-Wiz into the remote control car and makes it perform well in the next drag race, he then tests it's handling on a circuit against a standard RC car, with him driving the RC car, while the Stig ("Someone who has never sat on Santa's knee" and "someone who's never watched Moonraker on Boxing Day") controls the G-Wiz. What
comes next? The Stig simply runs his RC car over just as they're starting the race. And while Hammond does have a back-up car, Stig tries to get the G-Wiz to turn around corners, only to crash into barriers. Then, Hammond closes in. Aware that the Stig would just squash his car again, Hammond gleefully deploys "a special load": an explosive that blows up the G-Wiz. The Stig can do nothing more than just stare off in silence.
- During the news segment of Episode 10, the
presenters discuss car-related Christmas gifts. At one point, Hammond unwraps a box containing a bobblehead of Yutaka Katayama, the former president of Nissan USA.
Clarkson: You are joking. Hammond: His head wobbles, look! Clarkson: I don't care!
Series 11 - Top Gear did
a challenge on alternative police cars:
- High points included the sirens (James May's ice cream truck, at one point playing the
Monty Python's Flying Circus theme); the effects of Clarkson's Boadicea wheels on handling (Hammond: "I'm hearing a lot of noise but not a lot of movement; it's very much like Jeremy, that car");
James May in a hot pursuit situation (Clarkson: "How long have you got until you have to go home tonight?"), and then everyone's car-stopping techniques backfiring spectacularly:
Clarkson [narrating]: Sadly, there was one invention James hadn't considered. [The Stig turns on the wipers to remove May's layer of paint] ... [Hammond's doormat-and-nail construction fails to stop, or for that matter reach, the Stig's BMW] James
May: Oh no, he's driven round it! [cracks up] ... Hammond: [watching the Boadiceas in action] I presume at some point there's going to be a simply hideous accident. [Clarkson's wheel comes off] Clarkson: Something's gone wrong with the handling! - The motto on the
side of Clarkson's car was "In jail, no one can hear you scream."
- Episode 3, during their trip to the local Concours event in second-hand Alfa Romeos:
Clarkson: I have been rescued [Referring to the two women with him] and I haven't even broken down. Hammond:
Well then you don't— [Cut into James, who just arrived] May: Hello. - Also, when they take their cars to the track and compete with vastly superior performance cars. Then Richard and James suffer mechanical failure and spend the rest of the track day in the pits. Jeremy tries to pass another car, then discovers he's going into the turn too quickly. Cut back to Richard and James.
Richard: You know, I wonder how Jeremy's doing. James:
Go on, ask him. Richard takes out his radio. Richard: Jeremy, how are you doing out there? Jeremy: Not brilliantly. Cut to Jeremy's car lying on its side.
- Episode 5, the Old Car Challenges:
- When
Jeremy tries to show off the curtains for the passengers in the back seat.
May: Curtains? Clarkson: Curtains! May: No, they go in caravans. [Clarkson turns angrily towards May] - James May's response
when Jeremy Clarkson showed his automatic boot lid. One of the finest moments of Deadpan Snarkery in history.
- Later, they race their cars... by pushing them.
[Clarkson and May
attempt to push their cars, with no success] Title Card: several days later [Clarkson and May are still pushing, and the cars have just begun to move] - Clarkson spends most of the challenge claiming that his horn is incredibly loud. When May causes a bunch of other drivers to start honking their horns at him, Clarkson
finally proves that he wasn't kidding. It gets them kicked out of the parking garage and can be heard from across the city.
- The Long List of famous people who owned either a Rolls Royce Corniche or a Mercedes-Benz 600 Grosser.
Jeremy: There is only one way we can settle this. I have here a list of famous people who, in the past,
have owned a Ford Zephyr with a chrome nose. Elton John, Liberace, Dick Emery, remember [in a campy style] "ooh,
you are awful but I like you", and James May. What do they all have in common? Um... James: What you're trying to say is because I have a Corniche, I must, by association, have a wardrobe full of... spangly jumpsuits. Jeremy: That's it! Yes! Yes! Spangly jumpsuit-man! James: All right, fair enough. Let's have a look at The Big's famous former owners. They are... Richard: [off-screen] Is
Max Mosley on that list?James: No, it's worse. It's worse. Amin ,
Brezhnev, Ceaușescu,
Tito, Hoxha,
Hussein, Castro, Klerk, Hirohito, Pot, Tung and Elvis Presley.Jeremy: An impressive list. James: It is impressive. But, if your theory is correct, you're either going to
murder millions of people or you're going to die on the bog trying to push 500 cheeseburgers out of your poo-chute. [points to Elvis entry] Jeremy: So really, it comes down to a simple choice. Camp... James: Or kamp kommandant.
- Then there was their competition against German motoring show D Motor, set in Belgium. It began with the
Top Gear presenters arriving in Spitfires, followed by double-decker car racing, a drag race between cars representing the nations of the Axis and the Allies (in which Clarkson cracks a joke about hoping the Italian Lamborghini switches sides in mid-race), copious amounts of cheating and an apparent last-minute switch from James "Captain Slow" May to The Stig for one
of the races. Add in a few more references to the Second World War and The Battle of Britainnote than you'd think would be allowed on The BBC and you
have one of the funniest episodes of the series.
- The car list for the drag race consists as follows: For the Axis side, the Porsche 9FF representing Germany, the Lamborghini Murciealago LP-640 representing Italy, and the Mitsubishi Evo 10 representing Japan. For the allies, the Ariel Atom for Britain, the Chevrolet Corvette C6 for
America....and a dinky little car note from India because they
couldn't find any good performance cars from other allied countries. note
- James, driving the Indian car, places dead last, finishing after the others had already parked their cars and got out.
- Jeremy explaining how the Double Decker car challenge worked.
You need eight people to operate the four cars. Each team is allowed to get someone from the film crew to help out, and that's a problem for the Germans because while they have a cameraman, a sound recorder and a director, he is the same man. So their coverage of the race is going to look like this. [static] Mind you, it's not that brilliant for us. Although we have a very large film crew, there was only one volunteer to sit above me, and if I'm honest, it's not the one I would have
picked. [Kiff the One-Armed Soundman] Still, he is very brave. He once fought a shark. He lost, but anyway.
- Clarkson's bizarre comment at a pretty young American woman in the audience:
Clarkson:
You're American!? Girl: ... Oh... Clarkson: [looks her up and down for a moment] You can't be, you're nowhere near fat enough! - The whole Running Gag about the Dacia
Sandero.
- I went on the Internet, and I found this...
- Clarkson uses a Bill Oddie face
cutout to confuse Japanese speed camerasnote , and then uses it to amuse the petrol pump attendant.
Series 12 - Who could forget the Lorry challenge? Far too many funny moments to list.
- At the start of that episode, well...
Tonight, James races a man in wellies, Richard crashes some motorhomes, and I close down Manchester Airport. - Their
first task, after purchasing their lorries, is to "personalise" their vehicles in whatever way they see fit. Richard adds an American-style "bonnet" to his, which is obviously a dog house bolted to the front. James goes for an "Indian look", covering his in multicoloured flowers and swags of material. Jeremy turns his lorry into "Stealth Mode" by painting the whole thing black...including most of the windshield. This immediately backfires as he can't see where he's going, so he has to spend
several minutes chipping paint off the glass so he can see properly.
- One of the challenges involves driving a course with a lot of twisty hills while towing a trailer filled with "valuables". James has a large wedding cake, Richard has a car that hasn't been fastened down and Jeremy has a large pile of hay and an electric heater that's plugged
in. Partway through the course Richard's car falls out of the trailer and he completely fails to notice. It isn't until James opens the trailer to check for him that he finds out it's missing.
Richard: (looking into the empty trailer) ...is that bad for my points? James: Yeah, but more to the point: where is it? Richard: (sheepishly) I don't know! - Jeremy then shows up last with his trailer engulfed in flame. Richard and
James yell about how his trailer is on fire, but Jeremy would rather discuss how the others did.
Jeremy: So anyway, how's your car? James: Car's interesting. Richard: (simultaneously) Stolen! That's what it is, I've just thought of it now, stolen. The damndest thing! - Then there was the
hilarious (and rather painful) moment Clarkson tried a bit too hard to power slide his truck and subsequently fell off the chair while trying to cling to the wheel, his backside ended up going right onto the gear stick.
Medical Staff: Have you doing something to your leg as well? Jeremy: Yeah, the gear lever has gone up my arse. Medical Staff: Right, okay. James: Speaking nonchalantly in a cutaway After
the gear lever had been removed from Jeremy's bottom, we moved on to the next challenge.
- This is the Series that gave the world Clarkson's two hilariously infamous V8 engine powered appliances:
- First off, The V8 Meat Blender.
- May, who looked genuinely intrigued by the whole thing, is the first
to take a swig, the look on his face is... well... priceless.
May: [after a good few seconds of struggling with the "drink" and having his face make some spectacular expressions] ...I've got the name for it: the Bloody Awful! - Clarkson then makes sure Richard takes a sip...
Clarkson: That will put testes on your chest! Richard: ...It's put hairs on my eyeballs! - Arguably
though, the best bit was the wrap up having Clarkson coming to terms with his creation after the taste tests:
Clarkson:...I'm not sure this works! [laughs]
- Then came The V8 rocking chair later in the series. When Clarkson fires it up, the shop mannequin being used as a test subject
falls apart, followed by the chair itself, in less than five seconds. Clarkson declares the test a failure...because the engine noise would make it impossible for the person in the chair to hear the television. The best part of this one is probably seeing Jeremy and Richard struggling not to corpse in the immediate aftermath.
Clarkson: The noise is so great, you'd never hear television, would you? Richard: There is that, and the fact that the
old lady has disintegrated.
- Top Gear brings a Morris Marina out to the track.
- Later in Series 13, James May is forced to drive a Morris Marina in the Ice Race challenge, which actually beats Hammond and Clarkson's cars..... only for another piano to randomly drop on it.
- In Series 14, Hammond
"[drove] at the same time on the same track" a Marina against Clarkson in a Lancia. Given their poor history of Marinas and pianos, they gave him one which had already had a piano dropped on it. You'll never guess what happened when it conveniently "broke down", and Hammond got out for a minute to find a toolkit...
-
Jeremy tests a Ford Fiesta old-school style...and then he just gets silly. He drives it through a mall, and then during a beach assault. Made of Win, that.
- "I am now
breaking the speed limit, INDOORS!"
- Even funnier with the Beach assault. Especially when the Royal Marines beach, to the soundtrack of the 1812 Overture, complete with explosions filled in where the original piece was supposed to have cannons. It provides such gems as :
Jeremy Clarkson: "The kids are being annoying, shoot them. Jeremy Clarkson: "Ah look at that!" points downward. "The smoke grenades fit perfectly in the
cupholders!" - "Is it green?" "Yes. Very." Over a shot of a green Ford Fiesta.
- The entirely factual and not in the least bit entertaining American super-cars segment.
- Jeremy Clarkson's interview with Will
Young. Particularly when...
- ...they got completely off topic and started talking about home decorating.
Clarkson: Maybe we should start a program. Young: "Jeremy and Will Do up Surrey Houses", eh? Clarkson: Oh, I'd love to do up Surrey houses. Young: Us fighting over shagpile carpet. I can see it.
Clarkson: I don't like shagpile. Young [a little too quickly]: Neither do I. [awkward pause while audience laughs] - And then just kept going.
Clarkson: Have you ever been to the Chelsea Flower Show? Young: I — [laughs, embarrassed] — I have, actually! Clarkson: See, I went to the Chelsea Flower Show to get a water feature —
[aside, to the audience] I'm sorry, talk among yourselves — and they are pathetic! Useless water features! - And then, after they finally got back to the subject of cars (specifically, Young's lap), Clarkson is trying to decide how to mark the strip for the track condition:
Clarkson: I'll put a D on it. Or an M. Which do you want: do you want a 'moist' or a 'damp'? [beat] [general laughter] Young
[shaking his head]: We got to do that show, you know, it'll be brilliant. - Add to that all the times Richard's teased Jeremy about it.
Hammond: Jeremy's in love! - To cap it off, the said segment won the 2008 Top Gear Award for "The Most Embarrassing Flirting on Television". Jezza was not amused, obviously, especially with Hammond continuously teasing him on about it.
(To the audience, after the said award)
Jeremy: Who here would like to see Richard Hammond strangled on television? - The expressions on poor Mika Häkkinen's face when James May drove him around Finland.
- Episode 1: Clarkson reviews the Porsche GT2. Normally these segments are seven to ten minutes long. Here is a full transcript of this one:
Clarkson
[driving]: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! Clarkson [narrating]: — and that concludes my road test of the GT2. It's terrifying. - Also in the first episode, Clarkson made a joke about truck drivers killing prostitutes (an allusion to a serial killer recently in the
news) and received quite a lot of complaints. So, naturally, in the news from the next episode:
Clarkson: Now, the time has come, I fear. Lots of complaints after last week's program — Internet kind of awash with hate, people demanding an apology — and I
am only too happy to give one. I am very sorry that I didn't put the [Porsche] GT2's time on the board ...[general laughter]... really, I don't know what to say. - The Race to Blackpool, where the presenters have to drive all the way from Basel in Switzerland, whoever gets there first gets to turn on the Blackpool Illuminations but they have to ration their fuel to make sure they make it, and if none of them arrive then the Stig is on hand to do it in their place...
-
James finds the other presenters have packed heavy items into the back of his car, including a lorry gearbox.
- Clarkson declares the whole thing impossible and gets a fuel-thirsty Jaguar with the intention of running out of fuel outside his front door in the Cotswolds. He not only reaches Blackpool but with petrol left in the tank!
- The Stig passes the time in Blackpool by visiting the Pleasure Beach amusement park, and falls asleep on Britain's biggest rollercoaster.
- After Clarkson and Hammond both make it, they argue about who should turn on the lights while in the background the Stig steps up and does it.
- James and Jeremy exploring the rampant insanity that was the
Soviet car manufacturing industry. Highlights include:
- A car whose driver's side door wouldn't close with a hole in the bottom for ice fishing.
- The drag race in which two of the cars lost against a dog.
- Getting a face full of dirt trying to emulate
Erwin Rommel.
- The three-wheeled...thing with a body made of leather.
- ...and the GAZ Chaika luxury sedan:
May [after attempting to push the button to change the gear]: It's disappeared into the bloody dashboard... - The Polish FSO Polonez pickup truck and their attempts to put it through the same
tests as the Toyota Hilux. The Polonez doesn't even survive being dropped from a crane.
May: Maybe we try dropping it from a slightly lower height. Clarkson: It's a bit late now! Isn't it?
- In the powerboat vs. Ferrari Daytona race to the Riviera, the revelation that the powerboat has a carbon fibre toilet leads to it being nicknamed "the HMS Carbon Khazi".
- The complaints after they burned a Morris Marina (actually a
rusted shell repainted and with candy glass instead of real windows and packing peanuts and flour to mimic an interior fire).
Clarkson and his cronies should be hung, drawn and quartered or is that to good for them. (Jeremy: Should be "too", T-double-O. Small point.) He doesn't deserve to be classed as British.
I'm going to write the BBC an email and I don't care if they don't read it. (Richard: Well, we did!) If I see Jeremy Clarkson in the street, I will poo into my hand and throw it at him. - When Richard had to perform hosting duties.
Richard: Now it's time to see how it does on our track and for that, we must hand it over to our tame racing driver. Some say that one of his legs gets longer whenever he sees a pretty lady. Richard:
And that I haven't done one of these in some time and I've forgotten to make up a second thing. All we know is he's called The Stig. - Also, when we find out why Richard had to perform the hosting duties.
James: And now the news and it's great news, ladies and gentlemen. It's news to warm the hearts of nations. Jeremy Clarkson has lost his voice! - During the interview with Harry Enfield returning for another shot at the Star in a Reasonably Priced Car
segment; Jeremy acknowledges and proceeds to demonstrate the proper delivery of one of his signature lines:
Jeremy: That is the best car... Jeremy: [turns to the audience] the pause is everything... Jeremy: ...in the world! [applause]
- The "CLARKSON!"
moment of episode 2: Clarkson has decided to do a test run of the Bonneville Salt Flats before the course opens in the guys' camper van! As it's early in the morning Hammond is still asleep in the bed at the back. As for May? He was using the bathroom.
May: Clarkson you infantile pillock, you're tidying that up.
Series 13 - During the 17-year-old's car challenge:
Clarkson:
Guys! Problem! I've shoved my anarchy flag through my water lilo! Hammond: Can I just point out before we do move on, if you do decide to put yourself on your parents' insurance, and you have a crash, and the insurance
company find out that it was really your car... Clarkson: Which they will if it's got a body kit on it. Or even half a body kit. Clarkson: [interrupting] Oookayy! Okay... - Steam train v. car v. motorbike. Captain Slow triumphs!
May [to an exhausted, soot-covered Clarkson]: You have permission to say "Oh, cock." - The Return of the Cool
Wall. After one short joke too many, Hammond brings out a scissor lift. Too bad it has an emergency stop button that's easily accessible from the ground...
- Upon reviewing the Lamborghini Murcielago SV, Clarkson makes an argument:
Clarkson: Every time I see a man get out of [a Lamborghini], and it is invariably a man, I immediately think "That man is wearing a thong." Hammond:
Sorry, is this just something you like to think about? I'm confused- Clarkson: Nobody with boxer shorts has ever bought a Lamborghini. Hammond: Oh, what? Clarkson: S**t, I bought a Lamborghini. Hammond: OH MY GOD! YOU IN A THONG!
- 13x01: The belated Star in a Reasonably-Priced Car lap: "MICHAEL SCHUMACHER IS LOST!"
- The
second Stephen Fry interview, where Fry shows off his new iPhone application, Grindr, to a mildly Squicked but quite amused Clarkson.
Clarkson: You can find the nearest cruising homosexual with
one of those? - The news segment of Season 13 Episode 1.
Clarkson: If you had a pistol, you'd have shot yourself by now? May: Oh, years ago. - Two words: Car Sauna — a game played by waiting for a hot, sunny day and getting into a car with the windows rolled up and the
heater at maximum. The first person to exit the car loses. The lads played it, and Clarkson was the first to abandon ship when the internal temperature reached 62 degrees C (143 degrees F). If that's not funny enough, Hammond points out that because they're all sweating, they're breathing each other. Jeremy looks horrified, James looks disgusted, and Richard starts retching.
- Jezza and Captain Slow making car commercials. Period. If you're not laughing your ass off throughout
that feature then there's something SERIOUSLY absent about your sense of humor!
- The entire Volkswagen Scirocco TDi episode was absolutely brilliant, but the final ad absolutely takes the cake. Black
Comedy at its best.
- Jeremy Clarkson reading off Jay Leno's list of cars.
Clarkson: "How the hell do you decide what to go to work in in the morning?!" - One
episode had Hammond buy a 1953 London taxi. His car was falling apart on the way home and when they came back, he showed a piece of paper that showed everything that was wrong with the car. As Jeremy was saying "Oh, that's not so much..." Hammond releases the rest of the spool of paper to unroll, fall to the ground, and pool around his legs from about head height.
- Hammond specifically bought it because his grandfather worked at the Lanchester factory in
The '50s. Every time something breaks or falls off, he says "Granddad didn't install that." At the end of the episode, Jeremy looks up the car and finds it was built in the other Lanchester factory, so his grandfather couldn't have built it.
- Michael MacIntyre's account of driving and Austin Princess in the "loser lane" and trying to overtake
a Porsche. It made Clarkson laugh so hard he cried.
- The team talking trash about Jaguar owners.
Clarkson: ...I'm not quite sure how to sum it up, but they're the sort of person who'd go away for the weekend with his wife to a hotel, some romantic place, and spend the entire night flirting outrageously with
the waitress, and it's okay because he's got a Jaaaaag. Hammond: Yeah, you can get away with anything. "I'm terribly sorry, I ran over your dog..." "Oh!!" "...in my Jaaaag." "Oh, well, never mind." May: Is it fair to say, do you think, that no Jag owner is ever entirely trustworthy, but it's in a really nice, likable way? - "She's effectively saying
You've given me the baby, now get in the back." The only thing keeping Clarkson from literally ROFLing was probably his back. The best part is that everybody's mind goes there at approximately the same time as Jeremy's and the audience cracks up again; meanwhile James realises what he said and shouts "NO!"
- During
the RWD challenge, the producers of the show set up the hosts' prized possessions - Jezza's drum kit, Richard's motorcycle, and James's piano - at the end of a drag strip and challenge the boys to accelerate up to 60 MPH and then brake before hitting them. Richard stops with plenty of clearance. Jezza brakes just in time to gently tap his drumkit with his front fender. Then James comes careening past and smashes into the piano, utterly destroying it.
James: Cock!
Series 14 - In the fourth episode of Series 14, during the News segment: because
of the New Year's-related delay between taping and broadcasting, the boys struggle to keep straight the discrepancy. Jeremy giddily talks about the Citroen DS3 and says it'll be one of the best cars "that will be coming out next year", (which at the BBC 2 2009 airing means the US BBC America 2010 airing). He beams for a moment at his own magnificence and
thumbs-ups the audience, thinking he's got the discrepancy nailed. When Hammond and May correct him ("this year"), he drops the mother of all F bombs. Cue despondency.
- While reviewing a Range Rover during episode 4, Jeremy turns the demonstration into a snuff film when he GOES AFTER THE CAMERA CREW. There's then a screen card saying: "Due to new
compliance procedures at the BBC, it is no longer possible to show images of film crews being run over."
- The group's discussion about unnecessary speed restrictions on motorway roadworks is already pretty funny...then Jesus shows up. Read the whole thing
here (it used to be on YouTube but sadly it was taken down).
- From that episode 8, we have the Gocycle, and May thinking it is pronounced Gock-ickle. Then he finds out he
had to BUILD it instead of it being a fold-up.
- Also, James May saying "Isn't wasn't".
- And Clarkson talking about his cycle thing as Hammond comes round a corner with his electrically-powered skateboard and almost falls off. Then they race and Clarkson almost falls off his vehicle.
- Also the news section in episode 6, when the Trio suggest useless items to put car-manufacturer-badges on. Jeremy starts off with a plate of vomit (with a BMW badge),
Richard suggests a wizard's sleeve... and then James pulls out a literal pork sword.
Jeremy: James, don't do the pork sword. (Pulls out a stuffed rooster) This cock... Richard: Has it got four rings on it? Jeremy: Yes, it has. [turns it to reveal an Audi badge glued to it] - From the Romania trip (looking for the best driving road...
in the world). Clarkson gets James an actual Dacia Sandero to drive. It's then wrecked when a semi hits it.
- Could also slip into Tear Jerker territory when you think about how damn happy he was to get it and drive it...
-
Hammond's Ferrari spontaneously and randomly deciding to ring up Vernon Kay.
- And it just continues the Refuge in Audacity with all the references to gypsies in Romania.
- At one point, James gets the
trio lost in a small village, leading to them being mobbed by local children.
Jeremy: (v.o.) We wanted to hit James over the head with a hammer, but the kids beat us to it. James: (being hit by a child with an inflatable hammer) Ow, ow, ow... - One of the kids writes
John Cena's name into the dust on his car.
- The crash test and side impact test of the Hammerhead i-Eagle Thrust. "Tuokool!"
"It is, in fact, a genuine hybrid.
There are so many contributory factors to its makeup that it could, in fact, be more accurately described as a freak." "It's intrinsically unsafe — lethal, even — but surprisingly amusing at the same time." "There will only ever be one i-Thrust, and that's probably a good thing." - Jeremy's 'Mood Room'. "Big cats, jet fighters... the actor Peter Bowles." And yet, the i-Eagle Thrust never borrowed any design feature from them, save for a random mustache.
- The
segment of the Twingo Renaultsport 133, which is done in a serious manner. This includes Clarkson making a metaphor about how driving the car is like driving a mosquito (then saying "Not literally" because the segment is for a guy that wrote in about how the show wasn't serious) then Jeremy driving it on a hockey rink in the middle of a team's practice, him trying to
catch the ferry by jumping (and failing miserably) and then the fact that they put Ross "Ultimate Force" Kemp in the back, who gets abused constantly throughout the time he's in the back. Then there's one question that asks "Is it green?" Jeremy's response?
Jeremy [as the camera shows the bright red 133]: No. It's red.
- Being a callback to the last time they did a 'sensible' car test, which involved a (green) Ford Fiesta. And some terrorists. And a shopping centre. And the Royal Marines.
- Episode 5: Jeremy sprays himself in the face with minicab perfume. "MY EYES! I'M BLIND!"
- This from Episode 7's news
segment.
James: Between now and whenever you're watching this, anything could've happened: we might've invented a car that, errr, I dunno, runs on jelly, we might've declared war with France... [Slasher Smile] - The airport vehicles race, in which the driver of a catering truck, after raising the rear body and dispersing the
carts in order to shed weight, forgets about the laws of physics and rolls his vehicle. Also, there's a "no contact" restriction. Guess what happens.
- During the discussion of the Porsche Boxster Spyder's gearbox, known as Doppelkupplungsgetriebe,note it is revealed that the only sentence James can
say in German is "Aber ja, natürlich Hans naß ist. Er steht unter einem waßerfall.", which he then translates as "naturally Hans is wet. He's standing under a waterfall."
- James May gets a "fizzing sensation" when he drives a nice car.
- The lads are challenged to try and make an art gallery more popular by adding car
themed works of art. It… didn't go well.
- James' sculpture was the hottest thing in the gallery, mainly because it kept catching on fire.
- Having been to art college, Richard recreates Constable's The
Hay Wain, replacing the horse and cart with a Pagani Zonda. Along with a smear of river water and some leaves, as it fell in the river while he was painting.
- Clarkson, meanwhile, foregoes the traditional mediums of art and instead goes for paintballs smeared on a canvas. Paintballs fired from the exhaust of a 2005 Red Bull Formula One car, the RB1. Unfortunately, the canvas wasn't quite sturdy enough to withstand the high-speed projectiles, and tore straight through, impacting Jezza in the plums. As he writhes on the ground in agony, David Coulthard watches on rather bemusedly.
David Coulthard: I tell ya, I'm not giving him mouth to mouth, that's for
sure. - In one episode, Hammond's road test goes far over budget. Clarkson promises to do his road test on no budget at all, then proceeds to immediately break his promise by traveling all over the world to exotic locations as part of his test. Upon cutting back to the studio, James May drops a legendary insult on him.
May: You are an apocalyptic dingleberry. - During the news segment of Episode 4, Jeremy is talking about a newspaper piece that
claims gay couples are banned from the studio audience. He dismisses the claim as utter nonsense; cue five men dressed as the Village People standing directly behind Hammond and May for the rest of the segment, complete with huge fake mustaches.
Series 15 - Season 15's Second Hand Sports Saloon
Challenge:
- James' Mercedes that put first gear and reverse on backward, making James back up when he wanted to go forward.
Clarkson [in a poor German Accent]:
Vorwarts! May [accidentally backing the car up]: Scheisse! - Some who have driven that exact model of car would like to testify that the gears are indeed shit.
- Clarkson's emotional reaction to catching a glimpse of Hammond's M3's interior.
Clarkson: (Spots the interior of Hammond's car and gives the most horrified gasp in the history of all horrified gasps to have ever been
horrified) Hammond: What? Clarkson: OOOOOH MYYYY GOOOOOOD! Hammond: Ah, the interior, yeah. Clarkson: Have you SEEN the inSIDE of his CAAAR?! Hammond: Toffee and caramel, that interior is. - Staying the night in the hotel that now occupies Colditz. Hammond and May stage their own Great Escape. Clarkson just pays with his credit card.
- After
receiving a dismal score of only 6 note from the ADAC test, Hammond is shown driving his BMW... very slowly. Cut to Jeremy in his car imitating the show's opening sequence.
Clarkson: Tonight, on First Gear. Richard Hammond drives across Germany in a death trap. - James spends most of the challenge claiming Martin Brundle called the Mercedes 190 Cosworth the finest rear wheel drive chassis ever, better than Hammond's BMW M3. Jeremy phones Brundle just to shut him up.
Martin Brundle: When did I say that? I've had a few knocks on the head, but I
don't remember saying that. I mean, it's not a bad engine, but no, it's really not that good. You need the M3 for the best chassis from around that time. - James hangs up and claims Brundle confirmed it and called the M3 a "shadow" of the 190.
- At the end, they have to upload videos of their laps. Jeremy's
lap where he lies about its speed ("Naught to 60 in one second, which is the important figure children need to remember"), James' lap in which he gets lost, and Richard's
lap which is just a test pattern with audio of Hammond making engine noises.
- In Episode 1, it is implied that James May possibly set off the Eyjafjallajökull volcano in Iceland while filming a segment in which he drove up the volcano.
Clarkson: James, have you been working on any oil rigs in the Gulf of Mexico recently? - Clarkson's look at the Reliant
Robin three-wheeler/tribute to South Yorkshire in episode 1 of Series 15. Especially Clarkson crashing a meeting of a Reliant Robin owner's club. Emphasis on 'crashing'.
- He rolls the car seven times during a 14-mile drive, and his car is righted by "friendly locals" including Human League lead singer Phil Oakey, nightclub mogul Peter Stringfellow, veteran cricket umpire Dickie Bird (after Clarkson rolls across a cricket pitch), and BBC Look North presenter Harry Gration
(after Clarkson rolls in the background while Gration is doing a piece to camera... twice).
- Then when he tries to add stabilizers to the thing, he first drives into an inspection pit, then crashes the car into a canal.
- Made better in the next episode, when a Reliant Robin enthusiast sends a letter claiming Clarkson's many crashes and flips are due to his being a terrible driver. The boys accept his challenge and attempt a lap around the studio track in a
different Robin only to flip it on the first turn. Who was driving this time? The Stig.
- In the next episode, they apparently got a challenge from rally car driver Ken Block that he could do better with the Robin. The show decided to take him up on it. The Robin made it to the first turn... and he rolled it over, just like Clarkson and
the Stig did before him.
- Before even setting off on the challenge, he stated that he was wearing a crash helmet and had a four-point safety harness fitted because driving it was as dangerous as "Invitin' your mum around for an evening of Chatroulette."
- The Caravan challenge and Jeremy proving why you shouldn't put a three-story building on your
car.
Clarkson: [as the camera shows his car wobbling violently from side to side] Ahhh! Uhh! Ahhh! Ohh! Oh my God! No, this is terrifying! [cutting to an inside view] I - it - it's un- I can't begin to describe what this feels like. It's - it's- [car shakes back and forth] ooookay, wallowing quite badly...
Clarkson: [narrating]: I asked James to pull in behind and assess the gravity of the situation... but he wasn't much help. [shot of May laughing uproariously as Clarkson looks terrified] Clarkson: [narrating]: And, to be honest, nor was Hammond. [shot of Hammond, unable to speak for laughing] Clarkson: [gasps in shock] I've- I've cocked up, I've- I know I've cocked up- ohh, uhh,
ohh, low bridge! [the "caravan" narrowly misses the underside of a low overpass] Hammond: [into walkie-talkie] Jeremy, did you make a note of how tall it actually is? Clarkson: [to himself] ... no, I didn't. [into walkie-talkie] Yes. Hammond: [to
himself] He hasn't got a clue. - Episode 4: When Jeremy Clarkson mocks James May for not even passing a bus.
- The British sports cars. Not just the bare-faced lying throughout the show. THAT
anagram....
- Having windows that won't shut is a safety feature in a British sports car. As well as the really uncomfortable seats that have you keep on taking breaks.
- The Stig drives his non-British non-sports car into a car wash, and when he comes out he's underwater.
- While Hammond is looking at muscle cars, particularly the
Chevy Camaro.
Hammond: Now if you're under 12, then to you this car is Bumblebee from the Transformers movies. And in a minute it's going to stand up and throw an oil tanker at my face. - While discussing the Stig revealing his identity (which was treated as a
Face–Heel Turn)
May: Well at least we know now what his real name is. (Beat) Judas Iscariot! - The Christmas episode, where Jeremy takes the lights out with the little remote control plane, so they light candles
to great "romantic" effect, then Hammond lights his notes on fire, Jeremy tries to put it out but instead sets the tree on fire, and then James calmly suggest they "Pour some pussy on it." (Pussy being the name of an energy drink they'd been discussing previously.) How he managed to say that with a straight face beggars belief.
Series 16 - Despite it eventually going well for once,
most of the combine snowplow challenge ended with breaking things and/or setting them on fire.
- Just so you know. Somebody let Jeremy put a flamethrower on back.
Then let him use it. And he ended up burning a sign, setting a car's hood on fire, and setting a man on firenote .
- Jeremy's foolproof plan to measure the
amount of snow on the ground - diving headfirst into the snow akin to a fox - goes wrong when he bonks his head off a particularly low patch of snow.
- Then there was the fact that they're in the newspaper the next morning, being called vandals. They then look around the restaurant they're in and leave as quickly as possible.
- Jeremy on helium. When it's Richard's turn, he gets out of the car, thinking he'll have a squeaky voice... and his voice sounds perfectly normal.
Richard: Ah, you see, mine's had a new— Oh! - Challenged to purchase four-seater convertibles for under ₤2000, all three presenters proceed to share a
braincell:
Jeremy (arriving in his '88 BMW 325i): Oh no. Richard (waiting next to his '87 BMW 325i): ... that's awkward. James (arriving a few minutes later, while visibly facepalming, in an '89 BMW 325i): Oh... cock. - James May picking up (who he thinks) is Cher in Las Vegas:
- In Albania, Jeremy warned that they can't say the word "car" or "peach" because both words are slang for
private parts there. Richard decides to play with this.
Hammond: And I have never experienced a car this big and so powerful. - After the first segment of the Albania film the episode cuts back to the studio where Jeremy points out a girl in the audience who's from Albania. Richard and James awkwardly greet her and ask her to confirm that "car" does in fact mean what they said in the film.
- Also in Albania, Jeremy couldn't get a
Bentley to drive around in and so he had to pass a Yugo as a Bentley. He spends the entire trip expressing disappointment at the poor quality of his "Bentley".
- The end of the Albanian challenge deserves special mention. The trio are tasked with evading local police like an Albanian mobster would and getting to a nearby ferry to escape. James, driving the Yugo,
and wearing pantyhose on his head, unfortunately gets a roadblock set on him, which leaves him with only one option: driving off a cliff,
Thelma & Louise-style. Cut to the Lada rolling down the cliff, James ADR-ing in ham-fisted grunts of pain.
- Jeremy evaluates the Skoda Yeti. Among his criteria is the crucial question - which lots of people ask him - of whether Sienna Miller can fit in the glovebox.
She can; he opens the glovebox, and she says she fits and is comfortable. He says goodbye and good mark for the Yeti. Cut to the next bit.
- In the Top Gear Ashes episode,
the Australian team arrives "in the same way their ancestors left" - in a prison lorry. The guests are not thrilled and return proverbial fire upon disembarking.
S. Jacobson: Two hundred years to come up with a bit of gag, and that's it.
Series 17 - Marauder test drive in Johannesburg:
Hammond [driving a red Marauder] Oh, that gap's big enough. [crashes through
wall] Hammond: Well, it is now. - The news regarding the E-Type replica, the Vizualtech Growler E.note
- Reaches its peak once Jeremy goes all fake German, even though said car was
made in Switzerland.
Clarkson: GOTT IM HIMMEL! Wolfgang, ve have accidentally named ze car after ein fräugarten! - More so when Jeremy makes a Shout-Out to James's slip-up in Series 13:
May: If [the Growler] is based on an XK, has it got four seats? Clarkson:
No, you can't get in the back. [beat, followed by laughter from the audience] - James does cap the news off with one epic punchline:
James: There's a bloke at some point who's gonna say "I'm just gonna go outside to wax the Growler." (Cue everyone laughing very hard) Jeremy:
"Wax the Growler..." (Still unable to contain his laughter) Richard: Oh, you dirty booger!
- In the "Hot Hatchback Challenge" Richard Hammond spends the whole episode bending the rules which comes back to bite him hard when he keeps getting zero points at the tally. And then loses what few points he did get at the end for his car not counting as a Hot Hatchback.
- In one episode, the presenters were tasked with building their own
trains. Jeremy went for a "sports train" which was a Jaguar pulling a trailer while James and Richard went for four caravans being towed by an Audi. Jeremy ended up being stuck behind Hammond and May, then got involved in a Mexican Standoff with an actual train. However, one of the caravans (the buffet car) on Hammond and May's train caught fire, and then,
after the passengers had fled, a passenger train smashed the rear caravan to scrap iron.
- James explains why he and Richard chose an Audi S8.
Also, I have feet made of flesh with nerves in them, like a human being. Not lumps of lead yoked to an incompetent oaf. - And when Jeremy nearly crashes his sport train into the back of a stopped train in front of him, we get this gem:
Clarkson [still in his car which has stopped just inches away
from the other train]: SOME POO'S COME OUT! - Hammond and May fighting over who makes the announcements.
May: Ladies and gentlemen, please brace yourselves, the incompetent steward is about to pour tepid coffee into your crotch. Hammond: CHRIST'S SAKE, JAMES, STOP MAKING
(Sound-Effect Bleep) ANNOUNCEMENTS! THAT'S MY JOB! I'M THE STEWARD! YOU DRIVE, I STEWARD! May: It's my train, and the driver makes the bleeding announcements! That's the way it is! - And then it just gets childish.
Hammond: Lalalalalalalalalalalalalalala. May: Penis penis penis penis
penis penis penis...
- The demolition challenge, in which they had to take out six buildings before a trained demolition team could. In ex-military vehicles. High points included:
- Clarkson trying to convince May and Hammond of the virtues of his demining machine by claiming Princess Diana owned one. You can hear the crew crack up behind the camera.
- Richard Hammond firing his harpoon thingy at the roof of one building, missing, and destroying a Porta-Loo
instead.
- Clarkson losing control of his demining machine and mincing someone's car.
- Just generally, it turns out that the Top Gear crew is better at destroying buildings when they're not trying.
- Ladies and Gentlemen, we give you, The Interceptors!
- Episode 5: Due to a sports
broadcast, the boys have had to cut the broadcast short, to 59 minutes. As the deadline approaches, Jeremy keeps rambling...
May: We really must finish. Clarkson: What are they going to do? Cut us of— - Clarkson
brushing off May's criticism of the black edition of the Mercedes C-Class.
May: I think it looks infantile. Clarkson: James, you are so old you think Werther's Originals are infantile.
Series 18 Series 19 - Clarkson's P45 road test from the first episode, replete with Clarkson headbutting the helmet every time there's a bump in the road (and demanding it be edited out), and appearing on
Dragons' Den.
- Clarkson insulting Duncan Bannatyne has to take the prize for the episode's funniest moment.
Bannatyne: Well, Jeremy, I'm the last Dragon in, and I tried to tempt them by making an offer and hoping they'd come in with me. Clarkson: I'm sorry, I can't understand a word you're saying.
Bannatyne: That is... I'm out. - As well as him taking it on the A3. Most of his dialogue consists of screaming.
- Then there's Damian Lewis' lap in the same episode. The conditions are terrible and the entire track is covered in snow. Not only does Lewis cross the finish line sideways, but he also sets the slowest lap time in the history of "Star in a Reasonably Priced Car". However, because of the conditions, Clarkson declares it instead to be
the fastest snow lap time and puts it at the top of the board.
- The news that James May has turned fifty.
Hammond: Yes, but mate, you were born in your fifties.
- Episode 2
- Clarkson referring to the police drag race in Las Vegas as "Beat the Meat".
Hammond: No, it's probably "Beat the Heat", because "heat" means— Clarkson: Yeah, I meant that. - Which he then does again
right before the news segment.
Clarkson: Can you imagine the British police trying to do "Beat the Meat"? ...Heat! Heat. - On the circuit at Willow Springs, the team has a game of laser tag against two USAF fighter jets. Richard's Viper is hit 23 times, James' Aston Martin is hit 17 times, and Jeremy's Lexus... 48 times. James gets even smugger when the other two reveal that the fighter pilots said the only reason they kept missing his car was that he was
driving more slowly than they anticipated.
- For the final race from Palm Springs to Calexico, the loser of whom has to cross into Mexico to review the Mastretta MXT - which Richard had infamously slagged off in a previous episode, earning the outrage of Top Gear's Mexican audience - Jeremy and James decide to engage in a bit of sabotage to ensure that Richard is the one who has to atone for his own ill-chosen words. They stuff fruit in his exhaust ports, move the seat as far
back as it can go and the pedals as far forward as they can go and remove the fuses from the circuits that adjust them, and then disconnect two of the engine's HT leads, reducing his V10 engine to a V8. Though it doesn't take him long to fix the sabotage, Richard's thoroughly unamused reactions are the funniest part of the prank war.
Richard: [finding the fruit in his exhaust port; angrily] Oh. Funny. Funny. Also funny. [crouches down and pulls a lime and
a kiwi out of his exhaust port] Thank you. Chi- yeah. Right. We live in a cartoon. Really. - James arrives second, after Jeremy, who does the Loser 'L' with his fingers. James promptly declares that he doesn't care that Jeremy won, as long as he beat Richard; when Richard arrives, James, who has, indeed, beaten Richard, has joined Jeremy in doing the Loser 'L' with his fingers, but to Richard.
- It's time to build a car for the elderly,
so let's have an A-Team Montage! But a nice, quiet one. After all, you don't want to upset the poor dears now.
- And the bollocking they give May during the segment, culminating with them naming the car "the James."
- And Jeremy's solution to the problem of elderly drivers going the wrong way on a motorway; set up an alarm to warn them when they're
going the wrong way. And if that doesn't work? Rig their cars to blow up if they continue going down the wrong lane. Made even better by Clarkson and Hammond's reactions to it-
Hammond: [Visibly terrified] You idiot! Clarkson: What? Hammond: Well, it's ruined! Clarkson: Yes, but it can't go on the motorway going the wrong way! Hammond: No, we can't go
anywhere- Clarkson: Exactly! Hammond: -because you've exploded the car! Clarkson: We're alive, everyone on the Motorway is alive, this is the best solution ever!
- After the boys have had a rugby match on the field at Twickenham (England's national rugby ground) using cars, Clarkson displays how absolutely knackered the field is. Cutting to the studio, Hammond begins to berate
them about how that field was considered "hallowed turf". It leads to this:
Series 20 - In Episode 1 before Jeremy and James start their race around the northern part of New Zealand.
Jeremy: I do realize the enormity of the challenge I face, which is why I have gone for the fastest car in the world. Here it is. [gestures to blue Toyota Corolla]
James: It's a Toyota Corolla. Jeremy: Yes it is. James: It's a 1.8 litre Toyota Corolla. Jeremy: Engine size is irrelevant, James, because do you know what makes this so fast? Look in the window. [camera zooms in on Avis Preferred Service tag on mirror] I've rented it! James: Oh no. Jeremy: Yes. And this is the thing, with the Bugatti Veyron
sometimes you're using 15 horsepower, sometimes you're only using ten. This, you've got 140 horsepower from the moment you start it up to the moment you crash it. James: Did you pick up one of those, what do they call them, collision damage waiver forms? Jeremy: No, I picked up six. - In Episode 2's news, they cover a Volvo that can park itself after you get out of it and discuss the various problems of the design. Like what happens if it
gives up and goes home?
Hammond: What worries me about this is that the roads are going to be packed with driverless, slightly panicky Volvos. "I'm gonna park here! I'm gonna park here! No, where can I go?!" It's gonna be terrified! Clarkson: All the lamp posts are going to have "Missing Volvo" pictures on them. "He's only a year old and his name is Tiddles and he went off to find a parking space and I haven't seen him siiiiiince!" -
Episode 3 involves the boys finding the perfect budget supercar and going on a test-drive in recession-hit Spain. They visit a major airport that has no one in it. They never find anyone during their entire time there, and they just take the runway to use as their own!
- While at the airport, the cars gain dust damage from the unused runway. The Audi James was
driving suffers no damage.
Clarkson: Why do the Germans put the paint on in such a way that it is impossible to get off? May: Because they are Germans and [puts on accent] it is impossible to paint a car badly! - During the News segment: Samuel Chuffart.
- Whilst driving through Spain, Hammond hits a bollard, damaging the front of his Ferrari. Naturally, James and Jeremy ridicule him for it.
Clarkson: (whilst
looking around another ghost town) Still, look on the bright side. There’s no one for Hammond to run over.
- The attempt to build a hovervan in Episode 4 goes awry almost immediately, resulting in a scene of Jeremy Clarkson in a wetsuit with a fountain of water spouting from a hole at the small of his back.
- During
Hugh Jackman's interview, he relates a story about visiting an onsen in Japan while filming The Wolverine, and accidentally scandalizing the other patrons by misunderstanding the purpose of one of the towels.
Jeremy admits he's never been to an onsen:
Clarkson: "Er, no, couldn't go in one, my penis is too small." (Laughter. Jackman doubles over laughing.) Clarkson: "You know what I mean?" Jackman: (smiling) "No." (More laughter. Even from Clarkson.) - From the beginning of episode 5:
Clarkson: 1963 saw the birth of two things that I'm not very interested in: the
Porsche 911 and James May. - The news segment covering David Cameron's attempt to restrict porn access in Britain, ending in Jeremy referring to the past Africa Special in a special way in the hopes that the porn filters would erase the quote from the internet.
- During the crossover test, Jeremy stops his Mazda in a car park after a minor
accident puts some warning lights on and wrecks the intercooler. They decide to wait for a tow truck... Then they spy Phil Mitchell.
May [narrating]: We were waiting in the car park for quite some time. And the following morning, the memories were still with us! [cut to Clarkson and May with a
thousand-yard stare at the camera] - The Running Gag about caravanners going to recycling centers and throwing away perfectly good furniture and appliances, culminating in them throwing The Stig away after he finishes
his lap tests.
- The list of bumper stickers on May's caravan:
It's not our fault it's the Allegro in front Relax...and enjoy the view of our lovely caravan BACK OFF! I'm doing the speed limit! Made from recycled Concorde - Clarkson and May both deciding to take off-road routes when racing to their caravan site. Turns out caravans are not great at off-roading.
Clarkson: James, are things as bad back
there as I suspect they are? May: Well, let me put it this way: I've run over your left hand wall. Oh, and your portable lavatory! [cracks up] - The sudden reveal of a pair of fuzzy handcuffs hanging inside May's caravan.
- From Episode 6:
- The news segment discussing Highways Agency Traffic Officers and their tendency to close down roads for minor accidents and slow down traffic.
Hammond: I think they should
only be allowed to close the roads if certain words have been used to describe the incident. "Inferno", "Crater", "Apocalyptic". Clarkson: "Felt in Japan". May: "Can't find the head". - Followed by suggesting that they be restricted to picking up trash, which ends in a suggestion that they be dressed as
The Wombles. Because "nobody would run over a Womble! They'd be heartbroken!"
- Clarkson responding to a milkman's truck being on a commemorative stamp related to British motoring by comparing it to Germany releasing a stamp that features "A half-track sitting just outside Warsaw."
- Clarkson mentioning that their campaign to get
better parking arrangements in town centers has a powerful ally. Hammond suggests Barack Obama and Darth Vader, but...
Clarkson: Eric Pickles. - It gets worse when Clarkson draws him on his
thumb...
- James's attempt to get the New Bus For London to work. TIRE PRESSURE SYSTEM OKAY.
- In one episode Jeremy reveals he's got a bicycle that he rides through town, but he can't say what kind it is because he thinks all bikes are the same. So Richard asks any viewers who see Jeremy on his bicycle to send in a picture. The next episode Richard says that someone has sent in a picture. Cut to a photo of an orangutan riding a child's bicycle.
-
Jeremy takes said photo in good stride.
Series 21 - From Episode 1, the "supermarket sweep" challenge. Specifically, Clarkson and Hammond's attempts. Clarkson hits virtually every shelf in the supermarket while shouting in panic, while Hammond manages to hit the few shelves
Clarkson didn't hit and thanks to his car's tendency to roll manages to end the lap on his side.
Jeremy: Blithering idiots, do they not realise you can't use a magnet to pick up velvet? - Whenever the other two drive the police cars, they wear fake Seventies moustaches. Hammond later claims that it made it impossible to concentrate on catching Clarkson because all he could think about
was "I've got a moustache...I've got a moustache...I've got a moustache..."
- The ends of the three police chases:
- Okay, Hammond's is anticlimactic (his Vauxhall Nova stalls out and dies in eight seconds):
James: "Excuse me sir. My moustache would like a word with you." - But Clarkson's velvet-covered VW Golf GTI runs for about fourteen hours until Hammond and May deploy a remote-controlled car:
Jeremy:
This car is simply.....invin— [Cue huge explosion].........[sitting in a twisted, smoking car chassis while holding a detached steering wheel] So it turns out that velvet is impervious to magnets, but it is pervious to dynamite. - And finally, May's Ford XR2 is about to beat Clarkson's record when Hammond intervenes with the tank:
James: [sitting in the middle of a flaming crater big enough to swallow all three hot hatchbacks plus the tank,
holding a steering wheel which is the only vaguely car-like thing left] And on that bombshell, back to the studio.
- Teenage Stig. AKA, The Stig with headphones, a mobile, and exposed underwear.
- From episode 2:
- Richard reveals that he had painted a Confederate flag on the roof of his car when he was 17....in North Yorkshire.
-
Tom Hiddleston was the SIARPC in the said episode, and immediately Jezza drops the all-important reference:
Clarkson: (To Tom) I was half-expecting you to ask the audience to "Kneel before you."
Tom: (Chuckles along with the audience) Not here; don't got my horns with me. - Then the Call-Back from Series 13:
Clarkson: Well, does Loki drive a "Jaaaag"? Tom: I think Loki drives a spaceship. Clarkson: Yes he does. Is it a "Jaaaaag"
spaceship? - During the preview of Tom's run, he stalls the Astra. Then later on, during the "actual lap"...
Tom: (singing after getting past Chicago) "I'm forever driving in puddles..."note
- From episode 3:
- Richard Hammond gets a little excited during the talk about how a drunken Queen Elizabeth II could use her power to declare war on
anyone.
Richard Hammond: I want to be a drunk queen! [beat] dawning realization Jeremy Clarkson: Let's move on! - James Blunt is the star for the episode, and (among other things, like admitting to maaaaaybe running over a paparazzo intentionally), he gets his lap time:
James Blunt:
[dreamily] And I'm just under Joss Stone! I'm always under—well, anyways! Crowd: [laughs] James Blunt: I can feel the eyes on the back of me head! [cut to a pretty blonde (his fiancee) behind him laughing hysterically] - Hammond getting so bored by the lack of scenery in Ukraine
that he takes a bite out of his car's sun visor.
- The trio making themselves "better people" to take care of the boredom during the drive: Jeremy teaches himself Ukrainian, Richard learns to play blues harmonica, and James demonstrates magic tricks.
- Jeremy's failed attempts at speaking Ukrainian.
- Jeremy
"putting away his breakfast" by tossing the whole head of cabbage out the window and across Hammond's bonnet.
- When examining a decommissioned Soviet-era SS-18 ballistic missile, James May flicks his lighter behind it like it's a giant firework. All while Jeremy and Richard are laughing their socks off.
James: I think it must be damp! - James' doves escape from his magic kit into the back of his Dacia Sandero. He throws one out of the window to keep it from
pooing on everything. It promptly gets hit by a truck, much to his distress and Hammond and Clarkson's taunting.
- Hammond's attempt at wasting fuel in his Ford by zig-zagging the entire 100-mile drive gets the whole convoy of camera and producer trucks pulled over with him by the police. Hammond continues to sit at maximum rev just to keep wasting fuel during the stop.
- Jeremy saying that, because he was forced to walk out of Pripyat, he's had to do the entire show with two
penises. Then joking that it's not that strange since he's had to present Top Gear with two penises for the last eleven years.
- Episode 4:
- After Jeremy reveals that Madame Tussaud's is going to make a waxwork of him, Hammond and May needle him about how much wax would be needed for the statue and how horrifyingly ugly the end result would be. Jeremy instantly gets his revenge on Hammond by bringing up a fault with the new Porsche GT3 - which Hammond had recently bought
- that could cause it to catch fire, culminating in him testing his theory that pizzas are fire-retardant by strapping a couple of deep-pan pizzas to Hammond's crotch and taking a blowtorch to them. Luckily, Hammond comes away from it seemingly unscathed.
- Hammond, while driving the six-wheel Mercedes G-Wagon in the United Arab Emirates, notes that it has more wheels than anything else...at which point an eight-wheel Nissan drives past. One
Verbal Backspace later, Hammond claims it's the most bonkers Mercedes; a Mercedes with monster-truck wheels promptly drives past. After another Verbal Backspace, Hammond claims that at least it's the biggest car out there,
larger than a Range Rover or that little Jeep in the distance. The Jeep turns out to be not so little.
- Jeremy tries to pull off the Tablecloth Yank trick using a Nissan GT-R, to emulate an old advert showing a BMW superbike successfully pulling it off, and prove to Hammond that cars are better than bikes. The GT-R isn't quite as successful.
Clarkson:
(viewing the resulting carnage in slo-mo) There's the problem, he's going too slowly! note Hammond: Obviously that's in slow motion. Clarkson: If he hadn't been going in slow-motion, he would have succeeded! - Christ on a
bike!
- Clarkson's Take That! towards Piers Morgan, in the form of a Stig introduction:
Clarkson: Some say that his hair is the exact same shape as a hat and that if he worked for CNN, he wouldn't get such pitifully low ratings that his
show got cancelled. (makes trademark smug face)
Series 22 - The ambulance challenge, giving us such howlers as:
- Their first attempt at creating an ambulance, which is merely dressing up a P45 in ambulance colours, then towing a stretcher behind it. Which predictably, results in them "killing the patient" and the producers calling them "idiots", before telling them to come back and do it properly.
-
The electric-driven rear door on James' Hearsebulance (a coverted Ford Scorpio Cardinal), which when James demonstrates it's opening, Jeremy and Richard can't help but crack jokes on how slow it is and how unhelpful to a patient in need it would be.
- One of the tests included a lap around the track, with the Stig driving, while Jeremy, James and Richard were to be in the back, with the "patient", and during this one lap (which has three speed bumps), they were to put it's intestines back
in, insert a drip and fit a catheter, with points awarded for speed and which one of the medical challenges they completed successfully. James then inquires if the catheter is the same thing that "goes up your old chap?" And then, James asks "Not on it?"
- Richard's run in his Chevy, in which his choice of using a simple, wheeled computer chair in the back was a mistake due to nothing holding it down to the floor. Then after he put the guts back in the patient, he checks for the airway,
which results in the patient spewing out vomit, and Hammond's reaction to that is just hilarious. And to add to that, when he tries to fit the catheter:
Richard Urgh! Now I'm covered in wee! - James' run, which starts off with the Hearsebulance's tailgate slowly closing before immediately falling open and breaking as he sets off, causing Richard and Jeremy to absolutely crack up-
- Jeremy's run in the Rambulance (a Porsche 944 Turbo), which
proves to be a problem for him as he tries to get in, resulting in him "kicking" the patient. Plus it was a very uncomfortable ride for Jeremy, especially going over the speed bumps, and he remarks that he's "in a scene from Carrie" before wanting Josh back from
Casualty.
- As the Rambulance sets off, Richard wonders something about Jeremy.
Richard Is he focusing on getting the drip in? Or is he focusing on....? [cut to Jeremy transfixed by the fake penis] - Jeremy's rant on Speed Humps following his loss to Hammond in the lap time challenge-
Richard:
What you're doing is making that up. - Richard Hammond's patient delivery system... an air cannon. The first time he fires it, the patient ends up under the wheels of a nearby ambulance whilst also destroying the door on Hammond's ambulance. The second time, during the final challenge:
Richard: (when preparing to shoot his patient into the hospital) And now, 'coup de grace'. (presses button to open rear flap) Patient to hospital. (presses the
cannon button, which launches the patient to the hospital, through the window) Jeremy: Hammond, you blithering idiot! - James May walking like a
Gerry Anderson marionette.
- In the final challenge, James encounters a Peugeot driver, and tries nicely to make him move out of the way,
James: Sorry to disturb you, gentleman in the silver Peugeot, but this is an ambulance and this is a emergency. It really is a matter of great importance that you make way for the ambulance. Thank
you. - Which is followed by, after the Peugeot driver continues to be unhelpful:
James: I have been reasonably polite about this so far, I would like you to get out of the f**king way. - Then when he turns up at the hospital, James's patient has fallen out the back of his ambulance,
and he attempts to cover it up to Jeremy- claiming that his patient "got better"
and decided to go to the Pub instead.
- The episode following that...
- Stig is shown to be very angry with Daniel Ricciardo's extremely fast lap time in the Liana, going as far as punching cutouts of him and vandalizing the corner "Ricciardo is a co-(Cut by tyres)"
- Also when quizzed by
Will Smith as to what went wrong in Argentina...
Jeremy: Every f**king thing! - After Jeremy asks Will about how filming in Argentina went for him:
Will Smith: It was good, man. Argentina's fantastic. Jeremy: (completely straight-faced and dripping with sarcasm) Is it?
- Ollie Murs' lap.
- From the episode where they go to Australia, Jeremy lines the campsite at the farm with claymores "to stop any crocodiles from coming to eat them". One goes off in the night and it's revealed in the morning that a cow set it off by accident and got blown to bits. Hammond describes the blast site as resembling an
abattoir.
- While failing to round up cows, a particularly stubborn cow starts head-butting the front of James's Nissan GT-R, much to Jeremy's amusement.
- Even earlier than this, the cows actually end up surrounding James.
- Clarkson and May's "dramatic reenactment" of Peugeot's epic "breakfast
meeting" where they randomly decide to make terrible cars instead of good ones. The Gratuitous French they spout is fantastic, but the pencil-thin mustaches drawn on everyone and the random accordion player really drive home the absolutely ridiculous French stereotyping. Even funnier is the disclaimer, which reads "Dramatic reconstruction: using actors",
before adding "Not very good ones".
- Also, the pair driving like stereotypical Peugeot drivers.
Peugeot!Jeremy: Maniac!
- The show's decision to review a watch with an emergency beacon led to Richard
getting stranded in a remote part of Canada... for four days. Since his rescuers were "supposed" to be Jeremy and James, it's not surprising the Hamster was quite furious at the end. Especially since Jeremy and James really took their time getting to
Richard.
- When Jeremy and James get the call on Hammond's location at a restaurant in London, Jeremy remarks that they really do need to get a move on, and turns to face someone, supposedly to tell him that they're finishing up early, only for Jeremy to ask:
Jeremy: Can we see the pudding menu? - Jeremy, being stuck behind James in the snow at night, decides to turn on his "collapsed sun" to motivate him.
James: Seriously, very funny. Now
can you please turn the big light off? Jeremy: Only when you speed up. (beat) James: TURN THE F**KING LIGHT OFF! - Upon arriving in Canada, Jeremy and James make a bet that the first person to reach Richard does NOT need to take him back to Vancouver. Instead, the loser would be stuck with a most likely grumpy Hamster sitting next to him. Jeremy reaches Richard first and promptly drives away. Back at the studio, the audience learns that
James' truck broke in-half off-cameranote so Richard had to be rescued off-screen by professionals. Richard is about to give his fellow hosts a piece of his mind but Jeremy reveals the show is out of time.
- At one point Richard gets so frustrated he builds little effigies of Jeremy and James out of sticks and logs. Then he starts insulting them. Then he starts throwing knives at them.
Richard:
In the cock! Hah! Right in the nads! - The Finale, made out of two challenges that were filmed before the incident that ended the original run, sends the trio off on some good howlers.
- The intro plays as it normally would. (with the exception that Hammond is the one narrating what the trio will be doing) But once it cuts to Clarkson...
Hammond: ["Voiceover"] Oh dear...this is a bit embarrassing.... - After the intro we see Hammond and May
in the empty studio explaining The Classic Car Challenge despite the elephant in the room, figuratively and literally...
- The Classic Car Challenge: After seeing how their classic cars need some work, the trio takes them to the sheds to tinker with them... for 6 whole months while a time passage montage takes place.
- Hammond's victory
in the Classic Car Challenge is a place in the air show. A seat on top of one of the biplanes. His dialogue consists of complaining or screaming at the top of his lungs. Possibly the best parts are Clarkson and May completely ignoring him screaming in the background as the plane goes past.
Series 27 - During Episode 2, while testing their budget battery powered sports cars, Paddy, Freddie and Chris turn up to a go-kart track, where they have to complete the course, without touching the sides, in which if they do, they receive an electric shock ("from a guy called Martin"). Only problem is, is that the shock is delivered after pressing, a big red button, which is in easy reach of those not racing, resulting in very predictable
and hilarious results, with Paddy being shocked well before he even starts (multiple times!), and Chris taking one shock that makes him unable to steer. Then, with Freddie, Paddy and Chris convince Martin to take a break, and take over the big red button, only to be utterly shocked (no pun intended) as Freddie just barely reacts to it. After he crosses the finish line, Chris speaks to Freddie on how the "BBC Technical Department" were
convinced that it wasn't working, due to technical difficulties and that they want to do another run, only for Freddie to respond that it was definitely working.
Series 28 - While doing the Best Convertibles for less than £600 challenge, Paddy, Chris and Freddie take part in a time trial. Which seems
pretty basic stuff. Only catch is, their cars have been fitted with "lube cannons" that, at random times, spurt lube at them. And the results are, quite messy. Not to mention that Paddy actually crashed after 42 yards, the first time.
Series 30 - Paddy gets to act out his James Bond fantasies by driving the Aston Martin DB5 Goldfinger Continuation, an official restoration and modification featuring revolving number
plates, smoke screen, oil slick, and bulletproof screen, naturally. Then he demonstrates the retractable machine guns, which turn out to be a couple of fake barrels that poke out and light up while cheap toy sound effects play on speakers.
- Freddie and Chris get roped in to play Jaws and Oddjob, respectively, with Freddie unable to say a word because the plastic teeth he has to wear are much too big for his mouth.
Series 32 - During Episode 2, after Paddy, Chris and Freddie are trying out "cop cars" from the past, the three of them head off for a disused power station with more up-to-date cars (an Dodge Charger SRT Hellcat Widebody for Paddy, an Audi RS 3 for Chris and a Ford F-150 Raptor for Freddie). There, they try out their own cop show ideas, with Paddy as
"Dirty Cobra", Chris as "Dave Tall", and Paddy as "The Preston Ranger". Needless to say, when they turn up, things get hilarious when Paddy gets out of the car wearing shades and leather jacket, with a toothpick in his mouth (to spit out) and an accent,
before Freddie reveals his get-up and choice of weapon (a cricket bat, obviously), much to Chris and Paddy's amusement.
Overseas Specials - From the Arctic challenge:
- One of the trio's instructors, a former special forces soldier, has his face pixelated. Jeremy repeatedly remarks
on the effect.
- Better yet is the soldier in question becoming completely exasperated by the trio's ineptitude at setting up tents. Then there is his solution to the guys refusing to jump into a hole in the ice, so that he can teach them how to recover from a fall into frigid waters.
Pixel Man: Right. In your own time, I
want all three of you to jump in. (beat) What's the problem? Hammond: Well, hang on. So at the Pole, we'd all three be standing in a line with safety harnesses on holding poles when we fall in the water? It's a silly test, I'm not doing that. May: Well, actually, to be honest, the whole point of this is that you have to be able to take your clothes off and put more clothes on again very quickly, and I've practiced that in my hotel room.
Clarkson: What is it when you've got like a tingling down your arm and chest— (is interrupted by the soldier shoving him into the water) - The soldier proceeds to relentlessly harangue Jeremy while he struggles to climb out of the water, bellowing at him to get his hands over his head and roll in the snow while a sodden and indignant Clarkson can only sputter "How dare you . . ."
- James May voicing the opinion of everyone who hates winter:
May:
Can I make it absolutely clear, here, now, that I'm only here because the producers said I had to be. I don't like snow, I hate being cold, I hate outdoor pursuits, I hate the idea that I've got to push my body to find the limit, I can't stand this stupid clothing that makes this rustling noise when you move all the time, and I hate the zips, and the toggles, and all the pockets, and that velcro thing and I hate the stupid truck. - Soon afterwards, Clarkson commenting to May
that this means he's the first person to go to the North Pole who didn't want to go.
- After Clarkson takes advantage of the lack of drink driving laws in international waters, Hammond starts referring to Clarkson and May as "Team G&T" as opposed to his own "Team Dog".
- Clarkson attempting to teach Hammond and May how to ski is full of pratfalls and humor, including Hammond accidentally finding himself stuck in the rope tow lane and repeatedly apologizing as he
attempts (and fails) to dodge incoming skiers and hops away on one ski (the other was knocked off by a collision). And when he actually gets to the Arctic:
Hammond: You taught me downhill skiing, this is cross country! You might as well have taught me to play the banjo!
- The American Roadtrip episode:
- Jeremy jokes that his car is popular with murderers but then he finds a crumpled shirt in the trunk and assumes the worst.
- The "Don't Get
Shot Or Arrested" challenge.
Clarkson: James, what I reckon you've done there is, you've killed your friend. Clarkson: They've shot their own sign. What're they gonna do to us? May: Here we are, Sweet Home Alabama. (Starts making ricochet noises). - The Botswana Roadtrip:
- During the
part in which they went through the Okavango Delta to get to Namibia, the three entered the Moremi Game Reserve, in which Jeremy described as being a place where wildlife cameramen "make a name for themselves with David Attenborough", before adding that their own film crew isn't much good at filming wildlife, due to being more used to filming with
cars, prompting scenes in which the film crew are trying to get their cameras to film giraffes, elephants and baboons.
Clarkson: If we ever do a programme called The Back End of an Animal, these are the boys to hire. Hammond: This week on Too Late to Look! - The Vietnam episode:
- "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORN IN THE USAAAAAAAA..."
Clarkson: Children, if you're watching this at home, and you don't know
why this is inappropriate, ask your parents. - Becomes even more funny when one learns the song was an anti-war song that did not portray being born in the USA as a necessarily good thing.
- However, the DVD edition uses "The Star-Spangled Banner" instead, so that makes it a little confusing.
- Also, every
single second that Jeremy Clarkson was on a motorbike.note
Hammond: (To May) Do you think [Jeremy's] enjoying his first biking experience? Clarkson: I am the most MISERABLE human being ALIVE!!! - The Running Gag of the presenters cheering each
other up with "We've bought you a present!" - which inevitably turned out to be something huge, bulky and hard to get on the back of a motorbike.
- After the sheer amount of bonding and hardship they go through, they all seem to get quite depressed when their presents are subsequently ruined, and if that's really a spoiler you haven't been watching this show very long (especially James May) and so there's a quite nice scene where they try and stitch everything back together while
on a train. And no, it doesn't really make sense in context either.
- There's a good Bait-and-Switch moment in the latter scene where Hammond is trying to fix his damaged painting and decides to paint a car into the scene. We don't see the painting while he's working on it and are primed to expect something awful, but then it turns out he actually did quite
wellnote .
Hammond: It's difficult, really, to explore the allegorical significances and layers of the painting when I'm, well...sober. - Clarkson's utter lack of experience with motorcycles leads him to buy a Vespa, a scooter with a one-cylinder engine.
-
Clarkson discovering someone has written the word "Penis" on his helmet. Cue Gilligan Cut;
Hammond [Cheerfully]: I did that! - Clarkson presenting Hammond with a child-sized mannequin. "Your suit's ready - here it is!"
- James' remark while being measured for new clothes: "If she leaves that tape measure under my armpit
any longer, it'll rot." Also Jeremy's and Richard's reaction to that line.
- After having quite a few shots of snake blood vodka, Jeremy and James then proceed to flatten Richard's helmet, and in the morning present him with a new helmet they had bought, which is bright pink.
May: Now, don't take this the wrong way because colours assume different roles in different cultures. Hammond: Stop talking. May: In Britain we
think of that as a typically feminine colour. Hammond: Stop moving your face about with noises coming out of it like that. May: Here it's the colour of warriors! - Hammond is understandably angry when he finds out that Jeremy and James spray-painted his bike pink, while he was trying to mend his galleon. Cue a sarcastic "Oh, dear!" when, while riding along, the galleon hits a tree he passes.
- The entire part where they
have to go to driving school to enter North Vietnam.
- "Always give way to the car from the right!" "You had a one in a hundred chance of being right, but it was in the wrong language." Becomes even funnier when you consider that Hammond's answer was likely wrong anyway as they drive on the right hand side of the road in Vietnam meaning you always give way from the left not the right.
- Followed shortly afterward by the revelation that Clarkson actually learned enough
Vietnamese to understand the oral driver's exam, and answer the question directed at him; the legal age required to get a full motorcycle license (the answer being 18).
Clarkson: Did you not bother learning Vietnamese before you came here? Hammond: Well, no! Clarkson: ...you're screwed, then! - "Jeremy Clarkson: Fail."
- Hammond falling over his motorbike and headbutting May in the "gentleman's
region," almost immediately followed by Jeremy Clarkson crowing that he was going "where no American had gone before" and then promptly taking a tumble.
- After learning the last part of the challenge where they have to make their bikes amphibious to reach the finish line.
Clarkson: How hard can it be? Hammond: Don't say that! - By the middle as three middle-aged English men ride motorcycles through Vietnam in brightly colored
suits being comical at every end you'll start to wonder when this episode of Top Gear became a very good Wes Anderson movie.
- Jeremy's closing monologue, which ends with most surprising things ever to come out Jeremy's mouth: "Vietnam: You don't know, man! You weren't there!"
- When James and Jeremy got all of the natives to paint Hammond's
motorbike, one native took some paint and started painting someone else's bike.
- The South American Trip:
- Right at the start, the helicopter shots, with Clarkson's narration.
- Jeremy Clarkson sinking into the river.
Clarkson [narrating]: As I sank into the ooze, my colleagues became increasingly concerned. Hammond [choking with laughter]: His plums are in the Amazon, look! - The opening moments
of their first drive through the jungle, complete with dramatic music and exciting action shots, only for it to stop abruptly because Clarkson forgot his phone at the river bank. Which was still within literal shouting distance. Who knew the Top Gear guys could make the act of drinking water epic?
- When they first try to cross the gully, Jeremy's
Range Rover gets stuck at the bottom, and James tries to winch the car out with his Suzuki. Inevitably, the Range Rover stays put while the Suzuki gets pulled down into the gully after it.
- From the deleted scenes, Clarkson attacks May's truck with a chainsaw, causing them to nearly get in a chainsaw vs. machete fight.
Clarkson [looking at chainsaw]: I like this! Hammond: Yeah, I know. If you do anything more manly, you're in
danger of making yourself pregnant. - And from the episode proper, Clarkson's unveiling of the chainsaw.
Clarkson: I am the God of Hellfire! Richard: Oh god... - Jeremy has to pull James out of a tight spot:
- While they're travelling across the deadliest road in the
world, James, who is terrified of heights, threatens the other two with his machete if they rear-end him. Jeremy truly accidentally does- not that this stops James from sticking a machete through his window. Hammond is in the back and you can't tell if he's scared or just
amused.
Richard: Did your co-presenter on your television programme just attack you with a machete? Jeremy: Yes, he did. He came to the window and he was quite cross
because I ran into him. Richard: That doesn't happen on, like, clothes programmes or gardening shows. - Hammond repeatedly freaking out at all the bugs in the Amazon.
- Hammond getting a buzz off coca leaves in Bolivia and
chatting at double speed.
- At the end of special, they're about to go down the big dune that's the last obstacle of their challenge. Hammond gets out of his car to say something. As he's talking his car starts rolling down the hill (complete with a few curses) and crashes. Hammond then runs after it, yelling out the name of his car. "Donkey!"
- Jeremy meeting with Bolivian border guards who pat him down for drugs while respecting his privacy and preserving his dignity.
- The Middle East Special:
- The start where the doors to the cargo plane open and reveal that they're still hundreds of feet in the air, with all of their cars lined up to drop out the back.
All of them begin screaming in terror immediately, with Hammond (at the front) getting a closeup as James tells him to put the handbrake on.
- When Hammond asks why they can't simply drive west through Iraq, Jeremy looks at him like he's a bit simple and says in the most condescending way possible, "Have you ever seen a television program called the news??". Hammond replies, "Well, I'm aware of it".
- Later, when they arrive into Syria and discuss the political issues of
entering Israel from Syria, Hammond suggests going through Lebanon. Jeremy, once again, can't help but look down on him.
Hammond: Why can't we just go through the Lebanon? Clarkson: The Lebanon into Israel? May (sarcastically): That's a great idea! Clarkson: That- You'll find that really tricky. - Their message from the producers when they cross the border into Turkey: "You idiots."
While the boys have been worrying about being in Iraq and are happily ditching their flack jackets. The message continues: "You have just left a region where there is no war [Iraqi Kurdistan] and are entering a region where there IS war [Turkish Kurdistan]."
- Jeremy's Sand Door. He tries to bulletproof his car by filling the doors with sand because sandbags are
bulletproof, so why shouldn't a sand door be? When a special forces soldier fires a round into Jeremy's door, the bullet goes straight through it. Jeremy later claims that sandbags are useless too.
- Their conversation in the desert about their roles in nativity plays.
Hammond: I was a mouse once in a school Nativity play. Explain that. Clarkson: A mouse? Well, because they wanted something unbelievably small. Hammond: I
remember, I had a cardboard mouse-head costume. Clarkson: I was the front of the donkey. I took the costume off halfway through, so people could see it was me. May: Nobody could tell the difference! - This leads to a Brick Joke when they reach their destination and find a mouse in a cage running a wheel.
Hammond:
See, I told you there was a mouse. - Clarkson being unable to find myrrh, so he decides to get a Nintendo DS.
- The reveal of who the baby in the manger is. It's a baby Stig.
- May getting knocked on his arse by the tow rope is funny, until you realise that he's genuinely hurt and suffered a concussion from the fall.
- After May was
taken to hospital,Clarkson and Hammond continue to press on driving in the rocky desert. Then the camera pans out to show huge ancient ruins. When the camera returns to Clarkson and Hammond, you'd think they're gonna comment on it until....
Clarkson: Hammond? Hammond:Yep? Clarkson:You know what that is, don't you? [Beat] IT'S A ROAD! - The exchange when May joins them again, which also serves as
Heartwarming in the usual Top Gear way:
Clarkson: You really are better? May: Completely. Clarkson: Who am I? May: You're a big cock. Hammond: And who am I? May: Irritating little sod. Clarkson and
Hammond [happily]: He's better. - Jeremy's delusions that he's Jesus Christ by the Sea of Galilee:
-
The India Special:
- The boy's Oh, Crap! expressions when given a direct order from the Prime Minister of the United Kingdom to stay away from India.
- The idea of the special is that they're to advertise Britain in India. At the start of the trip, after Clarkson and May have picked at each others' cars, Hammond arrives in a Mini with a British
flag on the roof...
Clarkson: (sotto voce) That is a thing of beauty. May: (sotto voce) That's quite a good idea, actually, but don't tell him. (louder) Hammond, you idiot! Clarkson: (louder) You idiot! - This one hasn't been as
well-received as the others, but it does have one of the best Deadpan Snarker moments ever delivered by James May:
May: Why don't you go and wash the cars? That would be really useful... Clarkson: I've washed them... May: You haven't. I can see from here that it's still dirty and it still
says "penis" on the bonnet. Go and do it properly. - And then, after Jeremy "accidentally" squirts James, the two proceed to fight over the garden hose like two kids.
- When the Mini's entire front rips off as a result of trying to winch up the Rolls-Royce. Even funnier because Hammond doesn't realize what's happened and is still trying to direct the other two in the winching job while they try to get him to shut up and look at his car. Then his expression when he does
see the Mini is hilariously pathetic.
- Hammond's horrified look when he realised he'd accidentally painted the Mexican flag on the bonnet of his mini, not the Indian flag.
- The credits replacing everyone's last name
with an Indian dish as the out of control lawnmower from the garden party slowly rolls through the Himalayas in the background to "Hey Jude".note
- As part of the "promote British industry in India"
Excuse Plot, the lads decide to put banners on the sides of the trains, reading "THE UNITED KINGDOM PROMOTES BRITISH I.T. FOR YOUR COMPANY" and "EAT ENGLISH MUFFINS". Then the train decouples, tearing the banners in the worst possible
place.
- James gets left behind at a train station before the banners tear, and at Jaipur when Jeremy unloads the Rolls Royce Shadow from the train, he discovers that James lied about not having air conditioning. Naturally, Richard and Jeremy sabotage it
because Gandhi would've wanted them to.
Clarkson: (throwing a wrench over his shoulder onto the pavement in plain sight) "No tools, no murder weapon." - Speaking of which, when James got left behind, he urges Jeremy and Richard to pull the cord to stop the train and allow him on.
They're considering to do so, but there's a warning stating that to do so "without reasonable and sufficient cause" would result in a fine of a thousand rupees, which they think is around "13 quid", to which Hammond remarks he hasn't got that sort of money, leading to Clarkson pulling a face and saying "I'm not paying 13 quid".
- "Hammond, we're not camping." Cue
Gilligan Cut.
- Clarkson and Hammond wiring James's brakes to the horn, so that his horn honks every time he brakes.
- Although Clarkson and May aren't happy that Hammond forces them to camp high up in the mountains, they eventually find something to joke about.
Clarkson: Why can't we ever do a Christmas special where we go
from Monaco to Portofino? (Hammond laughing) 'How luxurious can this be?' May: (playing along) I was the first to check in to a five-star hotel, and as you can see, I've done it properly. A man's carrying all my bags. But then Jeremy arrived. Clarkson: Yes. (mimics a novelty car horn playing "La
Cucaracha") 'Oh my word, Jeremy, look what you've got as your car! It's the new Ferrari FF.' May: 'I wonder where Hammond is.' Hammond had indeed checked into a Formula 1 in a Renault 4. - Also, when the three of them were camping, the conversation also
turns into Jeremy remarking that Hammond likes to camp because he's secretly an American, as well as Jeremy and James making impersonations of each other sleeping.
- The second Africa special:
- Jeremy's genuine amazement over how a woman, who barely reaches his chest in height, can casually carry a bowl of bananas on her head, which turns out to be so heavy that he
needs her help to carry all them into his car.
- There's also the fact that Jeremy just wanted to buy one banana, but due to not knowing the money exchange rate, accidentally buys the entire bowlful, which was easily big enough to take up two of his car's seats.
- Clarkson trying to fix a throttle problem with his car by simply tapping the top of his engine with a large sledgehammer as James and Richard try not to laugh, as if they're waiting for him to notice....
Clarkson: What else is electrical in here? May and Hammond [simultaneously]: Not the exhaust manifold. Clarkson: Well, I've done the fuse box if that's what that is. May and Hammond [simultaneously]: That's an air filter. - Richard's fear of insects causing him to litter his car with bug zapper lamps.
- The presenters find a town named Jezza. Cue a series of
bad puns.
- Richard's Insane Troll Logic that tea plantation fields have hotels in them, due to people who sample tea for companies, needing somewhere to stay. Cue the title card revealing them still driving
"Many, many, miles later...".
- At the hotel Richard found, Jeremy discovering that the mattress in his room is covered in excrement.
Clarkson: HAMMOND!
- The trio meet at Christ the King Corner Supplies, which is shut, leading James to quip that Christ the King hasn't risen yet.
- As previously, the Top Gear film crew fail to capture any animals in a good shot. Hammond points out an elephant and wanders into
a trap Jeremy sets up with that.
Hammond: Big elephant on the right-hand side of the road. Jeremy: Ohh, this feels familiar Hammond, you telling me about animals you've just seen that I haven't. Hammond: (Starts cackling like a madman) Oh, you evil sod.
Jeremy: James, do you know what that show was called again? Hammond: ''(While they're talking) Shut up! Shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up! James: Was it "Richard Hammond Coming To You From A Tent In The Dark"? Jeremy: No, it was a little man who was saying "I had a wonderful day, I've
seen loads of animals, unfortunately, this is live and it's dark now." Hammond: Shut up! - Jeremy's crackpot theory on why the British explorers had so much problem following the Nile to its source. The idea being that they just wanted to have fun for a few years away from their wives and made the whole trip up.
- Followed by the
presenters constantly thinking up false letters to their wives in this fashion.
- During the interminable wait at the border crossing between Rwanda and Tanzania, Jeremy and James amuse themselves by re-arranging the letters in "SUBARU" on the back of Richard's car to read "U ARSE".
- Later followed by changing the letters on James's car to "OLD".
- Just like in the previous Africa special, their belief that watching American tourists is more
interesting than any local wildlife.
- The presenters' Escalating War of constant theft of pieces from each other's cars to mend their own.
- The forfeit car for the challenge (ie, the car the presenters will be obliged to drive if their cars break beyond repair) is a Ford Scorpio.
After they have towed their own cars across a river using a "homemade" car ferry, they are celebrating their first ever "Ambitious, but Rubbish" success as, in the background, the labcoat-clad producers are loading the Scorpio onto the ferry... only for the car to plunge into the river and sink to the bottom.
- Hammond's armchair falling into the river
because Clarkson stole the rope securing it for use in constructing the ferry. Becomes even more amusing when after floating a short way down the river, they notice a local man fishing it out and carrying it away, apparently having declared "Dibs!"
Hammond: Enjoy it! - Jeremy praying to God as James loads his Volvo onto the ferry to "make it go upside-down."
- Making the car ferry to the tune of an African remix of
The A-Team theme.
- Jeremy trying to distract Richard during the race to the finish by blaring Genesis from his rooftop bullhorn.
Hammond: ....oh God! Not that! - Hammond is undeterred by this,
forcing Jeremy to change tactics.
Clarkson: Sadly, though, Genesis didn't work...so I rammed him - The photo at the end with the text reading James May. Discoverer of the true source of the river Nile.
And two other blokes.
- The credits adding "Dr." and "I presume?" to every name.
- From the Burma special:
- The trio runs out of diesel and need to go to the next village... on horses. Jeremy calls his
"Tesco".
- When Jeremy looks for diesel in the local village, Hammond tells him to use hand gestures in case the locals don't speak English. He mimes turning a steering wheel, then mimes a filler nozzle. Jeremy interprets the gestures differently.
So I'm a
butler with Parkinson's [moving steering wheel] and I have a gun [filler nozzle]. Got it. - May thinks he is clever when he attaches a mountaineering tent to the end of his lorry's crane to sleep in. Unfortunately, his snoring also keeps Clarkson awake. Three guesses how Clarkson moves the tent.
- The second time James does this, Clarkson hangs the tent over the river... and tips James out.
- After admiring the Burmese for preparing for the
future by building a twenty-lane motorway around their capital city, they point out that the current size of the capital means there is absolutely zero traffic on it most of the time, demonstrating by stopping to play football in the middle of it.
- When the weight off all the bricks in the back of his lorry prevents him from getting enough traction to climb the hill, Clarkson, being... well,
Clarkson, decides to dump the entire lot of them into the middle of the road. He then decides to happily drive off, forcing Hammond and May to shift the bricks, blocking the road for their own lorries.
Hammond: I've got a new name for you on the tag handle, it's called Selfish Bastard! - HAMMOND, YOU IDIOT! YOU'VE REVERSED
INTO THE SPORTS LORRY!!!
- To get back at Hammond for driving off after the aforementioned Sports-Lorry-Reversing-Into, James and Jeremy come across the reservoir on the roof of his truck that powers his Shower, and urinate in it. What really sells it is when the two hear Hammond taking a shower later on with it, blissfully unaware of what's
been going on-
Hammond: It's actually warm! So warm, fresh rainwater... Clarkson: (Quietly, to James) Golden Rain! - Later on, James and Richard play a prank on Jeremy when he's asleep in the back of his Sports Lorry — which James masterminds out of revenge for raising him high off the ground in his tent;
Clarkson: What the-?! (The back of his Sports Lorry tips up, causing him and his bed to fall out of it)
JEEEESUS CHRIIIIIIIIIIST! Ow! May: (Voiceover) The next morning, despite the tranquility of our surroundings, Jeremy hit the road in a... fractious mood. Clarkson: (Angrily) Why did you tip me out of my Lorry?! May: Because you swung me around in my tent! Clarkson: Well you deserved that, because you're irritating!
I'm never irritating! Hammond: (Cracks up laughing)
- The trio commenting in the Shan State that they're possibly the first Westerners these people have ever seen... standing right in front of a banner advertising Chelsea football club.
- As the trio arrives by the River Kwai, they are instantly complaining about the arduous journey they have made here and how much this whole trip has traumatised them badly, only for a golden envelope from the producers to arrive. And it reads thusly:
Jeremy: (reading from
the envelope) "The prisoners of war walked to the bridge site. You have driven here, so shut up." - Jeremy Clarkson driving up in a massive crane next to the one driven by James May, as dramatic music blares in the background...only for Clarkson's crane to tip over and land on its side.
- As the group is nearly finishing building a Bridge Over the River Kwai, Clarkson looks at some maps comes to a horrible realization;
Clarkson: Well, you
know we thought we were building a bridge over the River Kwai, which is noble. Hammond: We are. Clarkson: We're not. (points to river) The name of that river... (Clarkson shows Hammond and May the map) Hammond: The Kok...? - Clarkson then proceeds to imitate a posh BBC presenter in an attempt to display just how bad "building a bridge over the River Kok" would sound like on TV.
- Scary as the Patagonia special was, it still had moments of amusement.
- Clarkson's favorite movie of all time, it turns out, is Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid. Visiting Cassidy's homestead therefore triggers all manner of references, much to the annoyance of his co-presenters. It culminates in him
re-enacting the famous bicycle scene with his Porsche in neutral, distracting his co-presenters by going back and forth with his fancy riding tricks. Instead of playfully throwing straw in Clarkson's face to end it, May opts for a log.
Clarkson: Ow! - Clarkson and May poking fun at Hammond refueling his Mustang.
- Jeremy is...not happy about the modifications his colleagues have made to his car
- After all the misery the trio dealt with on the
route Hammond picked out, James wasn't all that pleased that they are going to camp for the night
May: HOLD ON, YOU'RE NOT SAYING IT'S A BLOODY CAMP SITE?! [cuts to Hammond wincing in fear] SO YOU PULLED ME OVER TO A CRAP ROAD, WORSE THAN THE ONE WE WERE ON, WE'VE GOT A CAR DOWN, YOU RUINED THE LOTUS, AND AT THE END OF THIS YOU WANT ME TO STAY IN A TENT?! YOU MIGHT FIND ONE OF YOUR TENT POLES IS MISSING, BUT DON'T WORRY! I KNOW WHERE IT IS, I'LL HAVE SHOVED IT UP YOUR
A- Hammond: The signal's is a bit dodgy at the moment James but I-I guess you got the message back there...
Other Specials & Related Shows - It's not technically on Top Gear, but
Harry and Paul's Clarkson Island Sketch is probably one of the funniest sketches...
- ...
- ...
-
Wait for iiit...
- ...in the world.
- This, too, is not technically Top Gear, and not really a moment, but, everything James
May does on that Top Gear Meets Gordon Ramsay's The F Word special.
May [to Gordon after beating
him at the recipe challenge]: Are you any good at driving? - The entire Top Ground Gear Force special. However, the best moments have to be the repeated destruction of James' shed, Hammond getting stuck in the concrete, Hammond's jet-powered barbecue (which set the shed on fire) and Jeremy's turbocharged water feature. Which exploded, firing off the top bit which predictably took out the greenhouse which happened to be the one thing that actually worked.
[May
discovers the wreckage of his shed courtesy of Clarkson blowing up Sir Redgrave's flowerbed, which had one of the rocks crash into the side of May's shed.] May: LOOK AT WHAT YOU'VE DONE TO MY BLOODY SHED, MAN?! [Cut to May confronting Clarkson in the remains of his shed.] Clarkson: I
had this bomb... and it- That'll buff out! [beat] May: What time is this programme on? Is it ten o'clock? Clarkson: Yeah? May: Is it ten o'clock on BBC Two? Are we beyond the watershed? Clarkson: Yes. - The Winter Olympics episode. Any given challenge (which can be said for the show as a whole), but the biathlon just starts things off.
Jeremy Clarkson. Enough said.
May: The thing about Jeremy's shooting is that you are perfectly safe as long as you are standing right in front of the target. - When he has to do the shooting a second time, he claims to know how to fold the seats away, as he has one at home. He winds up having to call his wife for help.
- And
then, once he gets around to the shooting, he claims to have learned his lesson from last time. After his attempt to apply More Dakka with a MP5 submachine gun on full auto, it's
revealed that he cut down a tree instead of hitting the targets.
- Later, while setting up a "speed-dance-skating" course, Clarkson asks a local Norwegian about the dangers of
falling through.
Clarkson: "Do people fall into frozen lakes in Norway?" Local: "Yes." Clarkson: "Often?" Local: "Two last week." Clarkson: "Two last week? And are they dead?" Local: "Quite dead." - Jeremy, Richard, and James attempt to read
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy together for The Big Read... which went well...
Hammond: "Alright!" May: said Loonquawl. Hammond: "Can you just please tell us the question." Clarkson: The mighty USS Nimitz
blazed out of control in the middle of the North Atlantic... Hammond: Uh, no. You're on the wrong page, mate. [points to Clarkson's copy] Look, there you go. Clarkson: Oh, sorry. No. Wrong book... - From the Australian version: Ewen Page did a review of the Volvo
S60note , a car with marketing that claims it's "naughty enough to whip the Germans". Naturally, when the time came to test this the first German car used was a Porsche 911 Turbo Snote . When this proved significantly superior, they reached for a
vehicle that the Volvo had a reasonable chance of beating - a post-WWII Messerschmitt pedal carnote which trundled down the track accompanied by jangly piano music. Having given it quite a significant head start, the Volvo cruised past in reverse, with Ewen Page waving cheerfully out of the window.
- From the "Worst Car in the History of the World" special, as James drives a Mercedes SLS around the track
to demonstrate how bad it is, Jeremy mocks his choice of personal car - a Fiat Panda. Cue a Morris Marina dropping on it.
- James makes it so that Jeremy is tied up, so he can slam into the Ford Escort Cosworth... and by "tied up", we literally mean "tied up". And then he rips into the Ford GT, making sure that
Jeremy is shut up.
- Jeremy driving James' Rolls Royce Corniche, and how you can tell it's James':
Jeremy: First, it's the slowest thing I've ever driven. Second, everything inside is... absolutely... spotless-ACHOO!...
Sorry, James. And third... he's in the boot. James: (pounding inside the boot) Oi! Jeremy! - The ending, in which they give a certain someone the titled Worst Car. A certain someone who
decorated his front porch with lions that have his face carved into them. It turns out to be Richard Hammond, whose Ford Mustang they take as compensation.
- In the 50 Years of Bond Cars special, Hammond attempts to replicate the car cloaking device from
Die Another Day with his Particularly Enigmatic New Invisibility System.
- From the "Perfect Road Trip" DVD, Hammond figures out the perfect car for parking in front of the Hotel de Paris in Monte Carlo that won't be moved by the valet parking team in
favour of something flashier and more expensive... a Model T Ford. 'Cause neither he or Clarkson can work out how to drive the thing, the valets certainly won't.
- Then there is Hammond in his forfeit t-shirt that says "I <3 James May", complete with a picture of him on the back. He's clearly not happy about it, but then again at least the person in question wasn't with them.
- James May's "Cars of the People" series:
- James takes the opportunity to talk about
transportation in Japan. Cue the occasional cut to a Japanese man driving in his car, interspersed with clips of Zuiikin' English, a strange language learning program featuring women performing dance workouts while reciting English phrases like "I have a bad case of diarrhea" and "Spare me my life!".
- In the episode on cars of the future, James is driving in his own BMW electric car and discusses how he can talk to it by making a call:
Car: Please say a name. James: "World's Biggest." Car: Did you mean, "World's Biggest (horn censor)?" James: Yes, I did, but I don't really want to talk to Jeremy, do I? No... - Clarkson, Hammond & May Live is the show that
replaced Top Gear Live after the events of March 2015, where Clarkson punched a producer over food and was released from the BBC. The intro brings back everyone's favorite Jensen-driving, 70s mustache-wearing detectives, the Interceptors! Roger St. Hammond karate chops everything in sight, including a small boy. James Steed shoots everything in sight, including a bad guy, a sexy woman, and a cute dog who urinates on his car. Jason Clarkson punches a bad guy in the face... and is
immediately fired.
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Top Gear Trio tự hỏi liệu các cuộc biểu tình cổ điển có vui không, vì vậy họ được các nhà sản xuất gửi đến một cuộc đấu giá xe cổ điển để mua một chiếc xe hơi từ trước năm 1982 cho một cuộc biểu tình xe hơi cổ điển ở Mallorca.Hammond mua một chiếc Lanchester LJ 200 năm 1953 mà không có lịch sử bảo trì, Clarkson trả nhiều tiền hơn anh ta muốn cho một Austin-Healey Sprite từ năm 1969 và có thể mua một chiếc Citroën Ami năm 1976. Sau khi họ chuẩn bị những chiếc xe, họ đến muộn trước khi bắt đầu "Rally Clásico Isla Mallorca".Vì họ không còn cơ hội giành chiến thắng, bộ ba quyết định rằng họ phải xác định chiếc xe nào là tốt nhất và họ làm điều đó với sự giúp đỡ của các nhà điều hướng độc đáo. Trong khi đó, có những đánh giá về một số chiếc xe thể thao mới tại Top Gear Circuit, dưới dạng BMW Z4 mới và Nissan 370Z.Thủ lĩnh AC/DC, Brian Johnson, đi một vòng với Lacetti. Ai bị đuổi khỏi Top Gear? Tại sao?Vào năm 2008, trong khi lái một chiếc xe tải trên Top Top Gear, thì Clark Clarkson đã nói đùa rằng vụ giết người [ing] một cô gái điếm là một trò tiêu khiển phổ biến cho các tài xế xe tải chuyên nghiệp.Trò đùa đã thúc đẩy ít nhất một quan chức được bầu gọi cho vụ nổ súng của anh ta.
- Xin chào bà Beckerman & nbsp;
- TV-MATV-MATV-MA
- 1h
John BarryJeremy
road tests the new BMW Z4 and the Nissan 370Z GT. To find out whether classic cars are more fun than modern cars, the boys were each given 3000 pounds and were told to buy classic cars that are made before 1982. Then, they were told to take their classic cars to Mallorca w... Read
allJeremy road tests the new BMW Z4 and the Nissan 370Z GT. To find out whether classic cars are more fun than modern cars, the boys were each given 3000 pounds and were told to buy classic cars that are made before 1982. Then, they were told to take their classic cars to Mallorca where they take part in a time trial rally. Xem sản xuất, phòng vé và thông tin công ty Xem thêm tại IMDBPRO ẢnhĐánh giá của người dùngHãy là người đầu tiên đánh giá IMDB tốt nhất năm 2022IMDB tốt nhất năm 2022Khám phá những ngôi sao đã tăng vọt trên bảng xếp hạng Starmeter IMDB năm nay và khám phá thêm về những điều tốt nhất năm 2022;bao gồm các đoạn giới thiệu, áp phích và hình ảnh hàng đầu. Xem thêm Tin tức liên quanĐóng góp cho trang nàyĐề xuất chỉnh sửa hoặc thêm nội dung bị thiếu
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Clarkson có thực sự nhảy ra khỏi xe của mình không?Thay vì mạo hiểm một chấn thương nghiêm trọng, người dẫn chương trình mang tính biểu tượng có thể giữ an toàn cho mình bằng cách rơi vào một nền tảng cố định thay vì đường bộ.Tuy nhiên, Jeremy đã xoay sở để nhảy ra khỏi một Citroën đang cảm động, anh ta rất có thể tự phủi bụi và sẽ sớm trở lại với Richard và James để có thêm tình trạng hỗn loạn. Ai bị đuổi khỏi Top Gear?Tại sao?Vào năm 2008, trong khi lái một chiếc xe tải trên Top Top Gear, thì Clark Clarkson đã nói đùa rằng vụ giết người [ing] một cô gái điếm là một trò tiêu khiển phổ biến cho các tài xế xe tải chuyên nghiệp.Trò đùa đã thúc đẩy ít nhất một quan chức được bầu gọi cho vụ nổ súng của anh ta. Tập 6
Tin tức và quan điểm vận động.Jeremy, Richard và James đắm mình trong thế giới của những chiếc xe cổ điển để tìm hiểu xem chúng có thực sự vui hơn những máy móc hiện đại hay không.Cho xem nhiều hơn Jeremy Clarkson, Richard Hammond và James có thể đắm mình trong thế giới của những chiếc xe cổ điển để tìm hiểu xem họ có thực sự không, như Anoraks tuyên bố, vui hơn so với máy móc hiện đại.Được trang bị ngân sách 3.000 bảng mỗi người, họ cố gắng mua một chiếc xe trước năm 1982 khi bán đấu giá.Thay vì thực hiện một loạt các thử thách để xem ai đã có thỏa thuận tốt nhất, họ được gửi đến Majorca để tham gia một thử thách rất lớn, một cuộc biểu tình xe cổ điển dường như không thể tưởng tượng được. Ngoài ra, Jeremy lái xe với khủng long trong BMW Z4 và Nissan 370Z mới, và vị thần rock Brian Johnson là ngôi sao trong một chiếc xe có giá hợp lý.Hiện ít hơn Sẵn ngay bây giờ
1 giờ, 2 phút Cuối cùng trên
Antonio Pinto Âm nhạc chơi
Thời gian (nơi hiển thị) từ khi bắt đầu chương trình tính bằng giờ và phút Làm việc cho một thành phố tự do hạt nhân
Giai điệu im lặng & nbsp; Cuộc sống mới của tôi & nbsp; Giai điệu im lặng & nbsp; Cuộc sống mới của tôi & nbsp;
Philip Glass Cuộc họp trong xe ngựa & nbsp;
Patrick Doyle Chuột trong một cái bẫy & nbsp; Khách truy cập & NBSP; Tyler Bates
Người đã giết Hollis Mason & NBSP; Angelo Badalamenti La Cle de la Victoire & NBSP; David Holmes Người đã giết Hollis Mason & NBSP; Angelo Badalamenti
La Cle de la Victoire & NBSP; David Holmes
Antonio Pinto Câu chuyện về mực & nbsp;
Lloyd's All Stars Tramp & nbsp;
Danny Elfman Tiết lộ / Escape & nbsp; John Barry Midnight Cowboy & NBSP;
Hiển thị nhiều hơn / hiển thị ít hơn & DeVotchKa Tín dụng
Lloyd's All Stars Tramp & nbsp; Người đứng đầu gia đình & nbsp; Người gặp rắc rối & nbsp;
John Barry Midnight Cowboy & NBSP;
Hiển thị nhiều hơn / hiển thị ít hơn Chimico
Tín dụng Vai diễn Jimmy Reed
Chào mừng bạn đến Nevada & NBSP; Thắt chặt vòng tròn & nbsp;
L'Anonima Roylcott & nbsp; Psychosamba Antonio Pinto Laranjinha e Acerola & nbsp; Patsy Cline Những giấc mơ ngọt ngào (của bạn) & nbsp;
Graeme Revell Luis địa chỉ un Ramin Djawadi Fin del Camino & nbsp;
Francis Lai Chủ đề từ câu chuyện tình yêu Máy bí mật
Dòng mờ & nbsp; Paul Haslinger Miami Drift & NBSP;
Ớt ớt đỏ Khỏa thân trong mưa Ron Goodwin Làm việc và chơi & nbsp; Ớt ớt đỏ Khỏa thân trong mưa
Ron Goodwin Làm việc và chơi & nbsp; Robert Rodriguez Một giờ để đi & nbsp; Florian Tesslof
Vụ đánh bom (Bombenattentate) & NBSP; Nhà soạn nhạc: Peter Hinderthur & NBSP ;. Danny Elfman
Tiết lộ / Escape & nbsp; John Barry / Show lessTín dụng
Vai diễn | Người đóng góp |
---|
Người thuyết trình
| Jeremy Clarkson
| Người thuyết trình
| Jeremy Clarkson
| Người thuyết trình
| Jeremy Clarkson
| Richard Hammond
| James có thể
| Người tham gia
| Brian Johnson
| Nhà sản xuất điều hành
| Andy Wilman
|
Giám đốcPhil Churchward
Phát sóng
Ai là người mẫu trong Top Gear Season 13 tập 6?
Ca sĩ chính của AC/DC, Brian Johnson là ngôi sao khách mời, với kỹ sư người Tây Ban Nha Joan Verger, nam diễn viên người lùn Brian Wheeler và người mẫu nữ Madison Welch đóng vai trò là người đồng lái xe cho thử thách chính của tập phim.Madison Welch serving as co-drivers for the episode's main challenge.
Tại sao Jason bị loại khỏi Top Gear?
Dawe đã được đưa ra cánh cửa (xin lỗi, thật là khủng khiếp) do mọi thứ 'không hoạt động', và nhà sản xuất điều hành của Top Gear, Andy Wilman đã tìm kiếm một người dẫn chương trình trẻ, lối sống, hợp thời trang để thu hút những người xem trẻ, lối sống, thời thượng của chương trình.James May rõ ràng là người đàn ông hoàn hảo cho công việc.due to things 'not working out', and Top Gear's executive producer Andy Wilman searched to find a young, lifestyle, trendy presenter to appeal to the show's young, lifestyle, trendy viewers. James May was obviously the perfect man for the job.
Clarkson có thực sự nhảy ra khỏi xe của mình không?
Thay vì mạo hiểm một chấn thương nghiêm trọng, người dẫn chương trình mang tính biểu tượng có thể giữ an toàn cho mình bằng cách rơi vào một nền tảng cố định thay vì đường bộ.Tuy nhiên, Jeremy đã xoay sở để nhảy ra khỏi một Citroën đang cảm động, anh ta rất có thể tự phủi bụi và sẽ sớm trở lại với Richard và James để có thêm tình trạng hỗn loạn.Jeremy managed to jump out of a moving Citroën, he was thankfully able to dust himself off and will be back with Richard and James for more mayhem soon.
Ai bị đuổi khỏi Top Gear?
Tại sao?Vào năm 2008, trong khi lái một chiếc xe tải trên Top Top Gear, thì Clark Clarkson đã nói đùa rằng vụ giết người [ing] một cô gái điếm là một trò tiêu khiển phổ biến cho các tài xế xe tải chuyên nghiệp.Trò đùa đã thúc đẩy ít nhất một quan chức được bầu gọi cho vụ nổ súng của anh ta.Clarkson made a joke implying that “murder[ing] a prostitute” is a common pastime for professional truck drivers. The joke prompted at least one elected official to call for his firing. |