What makes someone great at their job? Having knowledge, smarts and vision, to be sure. But what really distinguishes the world's most successful leaders is emotional intelligence — or the ability to identify and monitor emotions (of their own and of others). Show
Companies today are increasingly looking through the lens of emotional intelligence when hiring, promoting and developing their employees. Years of studies show that the more emotional intelligence someone has, the better their performance. What most people fail to realize, though, is that mastering emotional intelligence doesn't come naturally. Tom, for example, considers himself an emotionally intelligent person. He's a well-liked manager who is kind, respectful, nice to be around and sensitive to the needs of others. And yet, he often wonders, I have all the qualities of emotional intelligence, so why do I still feel stuck in my career? This is a common trap: Tom is defining emotional intelligence too narrowly. By focusing on his sociability and likability, he loses sight of all other essential emotional intelligence traits he may be lacking — ones that can make him a stronger, more effective leader. After spending 25 years writing books and fostering research on this topic, I've found that emotional intelligence is comprised of four domains. And nested within these domains are 12 core competencies. (Click here to enlarge chart) Don't shortchange your development by assuming that emotional intelligence is all about being sweet and chipper. By reviewing the competencies below and doing an honest assessment of your strengths and weaknesses, you can better identify where there's room to grow. 1. Self-awarenessSelf-awareness is the capacity to tune into your own emotions. It allows you to know what you are feeling and why, as well as how those feelings help or hurt what you're trying to do. Do you have the core competency of self-awareness?
Developing the skills: Every moment is an opportunity to practice self-awareness. One of the biggest keys is to acknowledge your weaknesses. If you're struggling with something at work, for example, be honest about the skills you need to work on in order to succeed. Be conscious of the situations and events in your life, too. During times of frustration, pinpoint the root and cause of your frustration. Think about any signals that accompany how you feel in that moment. 2. Self-managementSelf-management is the ability to keep disruptive emotions and impulses under control. This is a powerful skill for leaders, especially during a crisis — because will people look to them for reassurance, and if their leader is calm, they can be, too. What core competencies of self-management do you have?
Developing the skills: During moments of distress, do not brood or panic. Take a deep breath and check in with your emotions. Instead of blowing up at people, let them know what's wrong and offer some solutions. Accept that there will always be sudden changes and challenges in life. Try to understand the context of the given situation and adjust your strategy or priorities based on what is most important at the time. 3. Social awarenessSocial awareness indicates accuracy in reading and interpreting other people's emotions, often through non-verbal cues. Socially aware leaders are able to relate to many different types of people, listen attentively and communicate effectively. What core competencies of social awareness do you have?
Developing the skills: First and foremost, social awareness requires good listening skills. Do not talk over someone else or try to hijack the agenda. Ask questions and invite others to do the same. Challenging your prejudices and discovering commonalities is also key. Practice putting yourself in other people's shoes. When we do this, we are often more sensitive to what that person is experiencing and are less likely to tease, judge or bully them. 4. Relationship managementRelationship management is an interpersonal skill set that allows one to act in ways that motivate, inspire and harmonize with others, while also maintaining important relationships. Which core competencies of relationship management do you have?
Developing the skills: If you're a constantly negative person, you'll have a very difficult time managing long-term relationships. Instead of focusing on "the worst that can happen," try to see yourself as an agent of positive change. Don't be afraid to go against the grain of conventional norms or take risks, either. These kinds of people ultimately leave the people they work with feeling inspired, motivated and connected. Daniel Goleman is a psychologist and best-selling author of "Emotional Intelligence" and "Social Intelligence." His latest book is "What Makes a Leader: Why Emotional Intelligence Matters." Daniel received his PhD in psychology and personality development from Harvard University. His work has appeared in The New York Times and Harvard Business Review. Follow him on Twitter @DanielGolemanEI. Don't miss:
What is it called when you are aware of your emotions?With time and practice, we get better at knowing what we are feeling and why. This skill is called emotional awareness. Emotional awareness helps us know what we need and want (or don't want!).
What is the ability to identify one's emotions and the emotions of others?Emotional intelligence refers to the ability to identify and manage one's own emotions, as well as the emotions of others.
What do you call the ability to recognize and identify your feelings?Emotional intelligence (EQ) is the ability to identify, understand, and use your own emotions in positive ways to relieve stress and anxiety, communicate effectively, empathize with others, overcome challenges, and defuse conflict.
What is knowing one's emotions or self awareness?Emotional Self-Awareness is the ability to understand your own emotions and their effects on your performance. You know what you are feeling and why—and how it helps or hurts what you are trying to do. You sense how others see you and so align your self-image with a larger reality.
|