Both of the words deal with the relationship a person has to the feelings and experiences of another person. One involves feeling a certain way about a person, and the other involves feeling the same way that another person does. Show In this article, we’ll explain the subtle differences between sympathy and empathy, discuss how each term is used, and provide some example sentences that use each term. What is the difference between sympathy and empathy?Both sympathy and empathy have roots in the Greek term páthos meaning “suffering, feeling.” Sympathy is the older of the two terms. It entered English in the mid-1500s with a very broad meaning of “agreement or harmony in qualities between things or people.” Since then, the term has come to be used in a more specific way. Nowadays, sympathy is largely used to convey commiseration, pity, or feelings of sorrow for someone else who is experiencing misfortune. This sense is often seen in the category of greeting cards labeled “sympathy” that specialize in messages of support and sorrow for others in a time of need. You feel bad for them … but you don’t know what it is like to be in their shoes. Consider the following examples: “I’ve always liked Saturn. But I also have some sympathy for Pluto because I heard it’s been downgraded from a planet, and I think it should remain a planet. Once you’ve given something planetary status it’s kind of mean to take it away.” – Jared Leto “Pity may represent little more than the impersonal concern which prompts the mailing of a check, but true sympathy is the personal concern which demands the giving of one’s soul.” – Martin Luther King Jr. Empathy entered English a few centuries after sympathy—in the late 1800s—with a somewhat technical and now obsolete meaning from the field of psychology. Psychologists began using empathy as a translation for the German term Einfühlung and the concept that a person could project their own feelings onto a viewed object. Unlike sympathy, empathy has come to be used in a broader way than it was when it was first introduced; the term is now most often used to refer to the capacity or ability to imagine oneself in the situation of another, experiencing the emotions, ideas, or opinions of that person. Consider the following examples: “As you get older you have more respect and empathy for your parents. Now I have a great relationship with both of them.” – Hugh Jackman “I’ve always thought of acting as more of an exercise in empathy, which is not to be confused with sympathy. You’re trying to get inside a certain emotional reality or motivational reality and try to figure out what that’s about so you can represent it.” – Edward Norton It’s late on a Friday night and you’re relaxing after a hectic week, reading your favorite book when your phone rings. It’s a close friend calling in a panic because she’s just lost her job. “Don’t worry, you’ll find another soon,” you say, “besides, you knew your company was having financial problems, didn’t you expect this? Why are you so upset now?” There’s a stunned silence on the other end of the line, followed by a dropped call. You did not show any empathy.You thought you were trying to comfort her so what went wrong? Without first empathizing with her, and listening to her concerns, you might have done more harm than good. So, what is empathy? It’s the ability to understand another person’s thoughts and feelings in a situation from their point of view, rather than your own. It differs from sympathy, where one is moved by the thoughts and feelings of another but maintains an emotional distance. The difference between sympathy and empathy is astutely portrayed in this clip from RSA Animate, that narrates an excerpt from Dr. Brene Brown’s TED talk on empathy. She explains that sympathy is to see someone in a deep hole, but remaining on higher ground and talking to them from above. The sympathetic person may also try to simply put a silver lining on the other person’s situation instead of acknowledging the person’s pain. Conversely, empathy is feeling with the person, it’s climbing down the hole to sit beside them, making yourself vulnerable to sincerely connect with them. The empathetic person will recognize the person’s struggle without minimizing it. For more from Brene Brown, check out this YouTube video. Empathy is an enormous concept. Renowned psychologists Daniel Goleman and Paul Ekman have identified three components of empathy: Cognitive, Emotional and Compassionate. We will briefly discuss them below. By learning how to empathize with your friends, coworkers, and those around you, using these three types of empathy, you build stronger relationships and trust. Cognitive: “Simply knowing how the other person feels and what they might be thinking. Sometimes called perspective-taking.” If you imagine yourself in your friend’s shoes, you know she is likely to be feeling sad, as well as anxious because she relies on that income to pay her student loans. However, having only cognitive empathy keeps you at a distance from your friend. To truly connect with your friend, you need to share their feelings. This is where emotional empathy comes in.
Emotional: “When you feel physically along with the other person, as though their emotions were contagious.” This type of empathy can also extend to physical sensations, which is why we cringe when someone else stubs their toe. In this case, you would look inwards to identify a situation where you were similarly anxious about the future. The situation itself need not be identical, as each individual is different. What’s important is that the emotions resulting from the situation are the same. So, you’ve successfully understood what your friend is feeling, and put yourself in a similar emotional space. Now what? Well, you can use the insights gleaned from Cognitive and Emotional empathy to have Compassionate Empathy.
Compassionate: “With this kind of empathy we not only understand a person’s predicament and feel with them, but are spontaneously moved to help, if needed.” It is the balance between Cognitive and Emotional Empathy that enables us to act without being overcome with feeling or jumping straight into a problem solving process.
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